45 Funny Quotes Laughing So Hard

Funny Quotes and Memes. Top 45 Funny Quotes Laughing So Hard “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” — Charlie Chaplin

“Laughter heals all wounds, and that’s one thing that everybody shares. No matter what you’re going through, it makes you forget about your problems. I think the world should keep laughing.”
— Kevin Hart

“There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realise there’s so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.”

“Each time a bird shits on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my porch – just to show them what I am capable of.”

Funny!

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I Am Cap

“Education is important but beer is importuner.”

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Beer Is Must Import

“Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.”

“I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.”

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“Just bumped into a mannequin & said “sorry”. Then said “oh I thought you were a person 11 then realized I was still speaking to a mannequin.”

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“I went to see a mortgage advisor with my 7-year-old son. As I sat at the desk, my son sat down and said to the man “Hello, I am not her husband.””

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Funny Quotes

“I laughed so hard tears ran down my leg!”

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“Dear maths, I am tired of finding your x. Just move on buddy, she’s gone.”

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“I went to see a mortgage advisor with my 7-year-old son. As I sat at the desk, my son sat down and said to the man hello, I am not her husband.”

Cool funny quotes about life “I assure you, You are not.”

“Warning: alcohol consumption will make you believe you’re whispering. I assure you, you are not.”

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You Are Not

“My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those lines between my eyebrows…those are my “wtf?” Lines, and those things are deep.”

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Don’t Sleep

“I need to go on medication, so I can slap stupid people and blame it on the side effects.”

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Funny quotes on life

“Tomorrow (n.) A mythical land where I get (film all my stuff done.”

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“I’m always weirdly proud when my pee is clear. Like, hell yea, I’m so damn hydrated.”

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“Snaughling: laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.”

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“I am in one of those moods where I just want to throw a book at someone’s face and be like: “I facebooked you.””

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Cute funny quotes about funny sayings “Laughter is important, not only because it makes us happy, it also has actual health benefits. And that’s because laughter completely engages the body and releases the mind. It connects us to others, and that in itself has a healing effect. — Marlo Thomas

“This summarizes my love life I’m the guy in blue.”

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“Some people are such treasures that you just want to bury them.”

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I laughed so hard Quotes

“I was in a public bathroom one time (female) when the silence was broken by this big, loud, fart. Then a voice said “mufasaaaaaa. Couldn’t hold the laughter in after that. Still laugh yrs later.”

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“You’re about as pleasant as an itchy butthole…. ”

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“Sometimes I laugh so hard tears run down my leg.”

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“Everything is made in china. Except for babies. They’re made in vachina”

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“That awkward moment between birth and death.”

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Funny Quotes Laugh and funny quotes inspirational “The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it’s a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a chap slip on a banana skin in the street and you roar with laughter when he falls slap on his backside. If in doing so you suddenly see he’s broken a leg, you very quickly stop laughing and it’s not a joke anymore. — Roald Dahl

Very short funny quotes about life

“I don’t like making plans for the day because then the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom.”

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“You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.”

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“Today in math class I had 3x+4 the urge to fart. I thought that if I drop my book and farted at the same time, no one would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me. Then I farted. Loudly”

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“I wish I could sleep but my add kicks in and… One sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, old McDonald had a farm… Hey macarena”

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“They should put prizes in your tampax box. Your period sucks, but here’s a sexy bipolar broads 50% off ice-cream you cranky bitch.”

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Hilarious quotes

“Him? No, he doesn’t want a treat he says i can have two.”

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“I want a closed casket funeral. However, towards the end of the service, please have the organist play “pop goes the weasel” over and over until everyone in attendance is staring at my coffin with silent, horrified anticipation.”

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Funny Quotes So Hard “Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. — Josh Billings

“Please do not confuse your google search with my psychology degree.”

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Confuse Your Google

“I told my kids that we are no longer saying “shut up” because it sounds mean and can hurt people’s feelings. So my kids are getting creative with their use of words. My 9-year-old daughter was talking and talking, and my 6-year-old son couldn’t take it anymore and said, “silence you peasant!”

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Take It Any More

“It’s a beautiful day, fun and run fun and fun fun I think I’ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.”

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I laughed so hard jokes

“If you ever get caught sleeping at work, just slowly raise your head and say “in Jesus’ name I pray”

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“I will not shout in class I will not throw things I will not have a temper tantrum I will be good because I am the teacher.”

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“You being all mysterious with your cheekbones and turning your coat collar up so you look cool. I don’t do that…”

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“I want buns of steel, but I also want buns of cinnamon.”

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Funny Quotes Laughings “The laughter of man is more terrible than his tears, and takes more forms hollow, heartless, mirthless, maniacal. — James Thurber

“I really do try to see the best in people. But seriously.. Some of you fuckers are making it so bitter sweet sarcasm damn hard.”

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Making Damn Hard

Very short funny quotes

“Old people at weddings always poke me and say: “you are next.” So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”

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Same Thing Happen

“Four out of five voices in my head think you’re an idiot. The other one, is deciding where to bury you.”

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“Farting is like the song from frozen. Work: conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know… At home: let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back anymore…”

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“A slightly drunk woman is watching tv and yells “don’t go there! Don’t go to the church you dumb bitch!” Her husband asks “what are you watching?” My “our wedding video””

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“I don’t always learn my lesson, but when I do you can bet I learned it the hard way.”

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Funny quotes and Funny sayings “Laughter is day, and sobriety is night; a smile is the twilight that hovers gently between both, more bewitching than either. — Henry Ward Beecher