Funny quotes and messages. 38 Cool Funny Quotes Life “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” Read more best funny memes and Cool Funny Quotes Life.
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” — Isaac Asimov
“Laugh and the world laugh with you, snore and you sleep alone.” –Anthony Burgess Photo Credits Pinterest
Funny Quotes
#1. “Laughter (n.) When a smile has an orgasm.”
#2. “LIFE IS THE ART OF DRAWING WITHOUT AN ERASER.”
#3. “I HAVE NEITHER THE TIME NOR THE CRAYONS TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU. Your tango”
#4. “I DO IT BECAUSE I CAN, I CAN BECAUSE I WANT TO, I WANT TO ✰ BECAUSE YOU SAID I COULDN’T”
#5. “I THINK MY SOULMATE MIGHT BE CARBS.”
Funny Quotes Life
#6. “I HATE IT WHEN I HAVE TO BE NICE TO TO THROW A BRICK AT. SOMEONE I REALLY WANT.”
#7. “The best therapist has fur and four legs. Unknown”
funny quotes about love “To Be Honest I hate you.”
#8. “Whenever the brain and the heart fight it’s always the liver that suffers.”
#9. “A friend has figured it all out. Here’s what she opined: Twitter is Trump’s laser pointer and Democrats are all cats.”
#10. “THE TROUBLE WITH BEING PUNCTUAL IS THAT NOBODYS THERE TO APPRECIATE IT – FRANKLIN P. JONES”
Funny Memes
#11. “This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.”
#12. “THE ONLY MYSTERY IN LIFE IS WHY THE KAMIKAZE PILOTS WORE HELMETS – AL MCGUIRE”
#13. “WHY DIDNT I THINK OF DOING THIS SOONER.”
#14. “That moment when you spell а word so wrong that even auto correct is like, I’ve got nothing man!”
funny quotes about life “Do You Have A Bath Room?” That’s Stupid Ha…
#15. “I hate it when people are at your house and ask ‘Do you have a bathroom?’ No, we pee in the yard.”
Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
#16. “So tomorrow is going to be a great day… For the last 6 months I’ve been conditioning people to stop by my cube and take gum… Some people stop by multiple times a day #april1st #icantwait”
#17. “THE ONLY THING I LIKE BETTER THAN TALKING ABOUT FOOD IS EATING. – JOHN WALTERS”
#18. “SORRY FOR BEING LATE. I GOT CAUGHT UP ENJOYING MY LAST FEW MINUTES OF NOT BEING HERE. REBEL CIRCUS”
#19. “I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I’m still looking for ideas.”
#20. “They laugh at me because I’m different; I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
Very Short Funny Quotes
#21. “The value of a man should see in what he gives and not in what he is receiving. able to -Albert Einstein”
funny quotes on friendship “You are my best friends when house owner through out me…”
#22. “Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you may need medicine.”
#23. “I ALMOST GAVE A FUCK SCARED THE SHIT OUT MYSELF…”
#24. “Sorry i missed your call, i took too long to answer cause i was dancing Minister da to the ringtone.”
#25. “”
Hilarious Quotes
#26. “For April Fools, I posted these around town with my wife’s number on them.” CHEWBACCA ROAR CONTEST!!! $100 BEST IMPERSONATION CALL 562.265.8561 Leave a voicemail + contact info. EVERYTHING FUNNY ORG”
#27. “The people I have loved in my life have never been easy to love. I’m not used to normal. I’m used to disaster. Augusten Burroughs”
#28. “AT MY AGE I’VE
I-Seen it all
-done it all
-heard it all
I just can’t REMEMBER it all!!”
Short funny quotes about laugh ” No Brain. Don’t worry we are friends.”
#29. “NOT TO BRAG BUT I DON’T EVEN NEED ALCOHOL TO MAKE REALLY BAD DECISIONS. CIRCUS”
#30. “OF COURSE I’M AN ORGAN DONOR. WHO WOULDN’T WANT A REBEL OROUS PIECE OF THIS?”
Funny Crazy Quotes
#31. “SOMETIMES EVEN THE DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER ASKS “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING”
#32. “I’VE REACHED THAT AGE WHERE MY BRAIN GOES FROM “YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN’T SAY THAT.” TO “WHAT THE HELL, LET’S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.””
#33. “IF SHE’S HONEST, FUNNY, LAID BACK, CAN HOLD HER LIQUOR. HAS A DIRTY MIND AND AN EVEN DIRTIER VOCABULARY, EATS PIZZA, AND LETS YOU TOUCH HER BUTT. MARRY HER, YESTERDAY.”
funny quotes on life ” Love is weird. yes or No”
#34. “LOVE IS A WEIRD THING, LIKE YOU JUST PICK A HUMAN AND YOU’RE LIKE YES I LIKE THIS ONE… I’LL LET THIS ONE RUIN MY LIFE FOREVER. CROUS”
#35. “Me: I’m finally happy. Life: Lol, wait a sec.”
Funny Quotes About Me
#36. “.The world is not full of assholes, but they are strategically placed so that you’ll come across one every day. Every: Fucking: Day.”
#37. “I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOUR SPECIFIC KIND OF CRAZY BUT I DO ADMIRE YOUR TOTAL COMMITMENT TO IT.”
Read More
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Funny Pictures and Images
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#38. “My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.”