Sarcasm Funny Quotes Laughing So Hard “There are two types of people in the world. 1. people who understand and appreciate sarcasm 2. Idiots.” Looking for the best 34 funny quotes for sarcasm you can’t think, Only laugh. Photo credits Pinterest
Top Funny Quotes Sarcasm
“1. Yes, we did wear some crazy clothes in the 8o’s.But at least our asses weren’t hanging out!”
“2. What can I say…I swear like a sailor & use please & thank you like a saint…I’m complicated.”
“3. I LOVE SARCASM. IT’S LIKE PUNCHING PEOPLE IN THE FACE,BUT WITH WORDS”
“4. DEJA POO: The feeling that you’ve heard this crap before.”
“5. I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out!”
Funny Sarcasm Sayings
“6. There are TWO types of people in the world 1.People who understand and appreciate sarcasm 2. IDIOTS”
“7. I RUN ON CAFFEINE, SARCASM AND INAPPROPRIATE THOUGHTS.”
“8. Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them?Now they put everything online and get mad when people don’t.”
“9. Why does toilet paper need a commercial. Who is not buying toilet paper?”
“10. I don’t always talk to democrats but when I do, I ask for large fries”
Sarcasm Sayings
“11. “Can I help you?” “No. I just waited in line for 30 minutes to say hi””
“12. You’re the reason I look down at my phone and smile. And then walk into a pole.”
“13. Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wine, and everything fine.”
“14. I’m not a smartass…i am a skilled, trained professional in pointing out the obvious and I speak fluent sarcasm.”
“15. Having a dirty mind makes ordinary conversations much more interesting.”
Best Sarcastic Sayings Ideas
“16. A fun thing to do in the morning is not talk to me”
“17. Well, aren’t you a little ray of pitch black.”
“18. I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else about whae comes out my mouth.”
“19. I’m not a complete idiot. Some pieces are missing.”
“20. SARCHOTIC:[adj.] When you’re so sarcastic, people aren’t sure whether you’re joking or whether you’re just crazy.”
Funny Quotes About Sarcasm
“21. My mother always told me if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all…And some people wonder why I’m so quiet around them.”
“22. My therapist told me: the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake I feel better already.”
“23. I swear some people must have been conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.”
“24. Keep it up, and you will be a strange smell in the attic.”
“25. I was dropped on my head as a baby.But you,my friend, you were clearly flung against a wall.”
Best Sarcastic Quotes
“26. Welcome to the dark side, where all the fun stuff happens.”
“27. ‘Dammit I’m mad’ is ‘Dammit I’m mad’ spelled backwards.”
“28. Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.”
“29. There’s a fine line between saying too little. I walk that line like a drunken clown at the circus.”
“30. My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.”
Funny Life Quotes
“31. I’ve got a good heart but this mouth…”
“32. UNLESS YOUR NAME IS GOOGLE STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING”
“33. I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “you probably shouldn’t say that.” To “what the hell, let’s see what happens.”
“34. Lead me not into temptation…oh hell. Just follow me, I know a shortcut”
Funny Quotes and Messages
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.”
Robert Benchley
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
Henry Clapp
“A bore is the kind of man who, when you ask him how he is, he tells you.”
Channing Pollock
“There but for the grace of God, goes God.”
Anonymous
“Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.”
Dennis Miller
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
Mark Twain
Funny Quotes On Sarcasm
“The only time some fellows are ever seen with their wives is after they’ve been indicted.”
Kin Hubbard
“When it doubt, look intelligent.”
Garrison Keillor
“Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.”
Anonymous
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.”
Lucille S. Harper
“Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
George Carlin
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.”
Dorothy Parker
Funny Sarcastic Phrases
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
Isaac Asimov
“I don’t believe in reincarnation, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.”
Shane Richie
“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.”
Rita Mae Brown
“Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.”
Anonymous
“By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.”
Don Herold
“Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent.”
Steve Martin
“If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.”
Reese Witherspoon
Funny Quotes About Sarcasm
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.”
Addison H. Hallock
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
Oscar Wilde
“User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’”
Dave Barry
“She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.”
Jean Webster
“If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?”
Will Rogers
Funny Jokes About Sarcasm
“The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.”
George Will
“It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.”
Gore Vidal
“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.” Andrew A. Rooney
“I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.”
Dolly Parton
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