75 Best Funny Quotes Life And Funny Sayings

75 Best Funny Quotes Life And Funny Sayings “In some countries, it’s not illegal to escape prison providing no other laws are broken, as it’s human nature to want to escape.

Looking for the funny quotes for your spare times. Here are the best 75 Best Funny life quotes and humor Funny Sayings. photo credits Pinterest

Best Funny Quotes

“1. Lord, please give me patience because if you give me strength I’ll need bail money too…”

“2. I disagree with the term “Gay rights”. Why would there be gay rights? Just call it human rights, anyone should have the same rights! This is equality.”

“3. Math Mental Abuse To Humans.”

“4. I was taught to think before I act, so if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured-I’ve thought about it, and am confident in my decision.”

“5. Welcome to my mind… please fasten your seatbelt and keep your arms and legs in at all times. Don’t feed the animals, drink the water or talk to the voices. Enjoy the ride!”

“6. Did you know “Diet” stands for: Did I eat that?”

“7. Oh, you’re a firefighter, paramedic or EMT? That’s cool. I wanted to do that when I was a kid. What do you make? What do I make? “I make holding your hand seem like the biggest thing in the world when I’m cutting you out of a car. I can make 5 minutes seem like a lifetime when I go into a burning house to save your family. I make those annoying sirens seem like angels when you need them. I can make your children breathe when they stop. I can help you survive a heart attack. I make myself get out of bed at 3 am to risk my life to save people I’ve never met. Today I might make the ultimate sacrifice to save your life. I make a difference, what do you make?” Re-Post if you are on fire or EMS services or love someone who is!”

“8. I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I’d say my people skills are improving.”

“9. Teenager post # 20720 *walks into a kitchen at 2 am* … wow okay… I need to be quiet… trips over the chair breaks a leg, catches the house on fire”

“10. I’m always forced to do shit I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to fucking idiots.”