Short Funny Jokes Anyone Can Remember. Some of these jokes can teach you good things as well as make you laugh. Nevertheless, these jokes are healthy and good for both the young and old and even the kids. Looking for funny jokes? Settle in: You’re in the right place. From clean knock-knock jokes and the top corny jokes to hilarious one-liners and clever riddles, we’ve got the jokes guaranteed to bring on serious laughs. We Collected the best 50 funny jokes.
#1. Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?
A: The road!
#2. Q. Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
A. Because she always runs away from the ball!
#3. Q: Knock, Knock!
Anita inside me!
4. Q: What did the man say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya!
#5. Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose?
A: Nobody’s nose.
#6. Q: A DISNEY BREAK-UP
A: Mickey and Minnie have been having problems for some time now. After hearing of Barbie and Ken’s breakup, they too decide to call it quits. Donald goes to Mickey to console him and says, “She’s been a problem since day one. I’m glad you finally saw that she’s crazy.” Mickey looks at Donald and replies, “No, I broke up with her because she’s f**king Goofy.”
#7. Q: My wife always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator.
A: I guess we are raised differently.
#8. Q: Knock Knock!
Juno I love you, right?
#9. Q. What do you get when you cross a snake with a tasty dessert?
A. A pie-then!
#10. Q: SHUT-UP AND TROUBLE
A: In a small town in California there lived two boys, Shut-up and Trouble.
These boys were friends, but every once-in-awhile they would get into a fight. One time after they had both just gotten ice-cream, Trouble’s ice-cream fell. Trouble then stole Shut-up’s ice-cream and ran away. Shut-up ran after Trouble but eventually lost him, sat on a curb, and started to cry.
A police officer pulled up and asked, “What’s your name?”
The officer got angry and asked the same question again and got the same reply. Finally, he asked the same question and got the same reply and then said, “Boy, are you looking for Trouble?”
And Shut-up said, “Yeah, that fool stole my ice-cream!”
#11. Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco?
A: He pulled a muscle
#12. Q: Did you hear about the angry pancake?
A: He just flipped.
#13. Q: Al Jackson: splitting up toy soldiers
A: My cousins were all bigger than me, so they would take the army guys in the cool positions. So, the only dude I had left was the dude on the phone. So really, my army just looked like 10 guys waiting on their lattes at Starbucks.
#14. Q: I once fell in love with a girl who only knew 4 vowels.
A: She didn’t know I existed.
#15. Q: The easy way up – hackers beware
A: My email password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.
#16. Q: What’s another name for pickled bread?
A: Dill dough.
#17. Q: What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?
A: It wooden go!
#18. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
#19. Q: What do you call the blonde in a horror movie?
A: Dead meat.
#20. Q: What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer?
A: The Spacebar!
#21. Q: Male or female restroom
A: Shouldn’t they put the words ‘men’ and ‘women’ on the bathroom doors? Just ‘men’ and ‘women.’ Sometimes, they get creative: they do pictures and symbols, and you’ve got to guess which one you are. People hate that. They have a few beers, and then they get down there, they’re just like, ‘Oh God, am I a compass or a thimble? Am I a jar of months or a horse with skis? I just have to pee.’
#22. Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A: I better not tell you, it might spread.
#23. Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta
#24. Q: Classic booty call… Ticket
A: You must be a parking ticket ’cause you’ve got “fine” written all over you.
#25. Q: STEVE SWEENEY: GROWING UP CATHOLIC
A: I grew up a Catholic, which is good. It gives you something to work out the rest of your life.
#26. Q: What has one horn and gives milk
A: A milk truck.
#27. Q: THE WISHING WELL
A: A married couple walks up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny.
His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well and drowns.
The guy says, “Wow, it really works.”
#28. A: Knock Knock!
Cows go ‘moo’ not who!
#29. Q: What is the hardest shape to get out of?
A: Tell me.
#30. Q: River Deep – Mountain
A: One day two kids were wandering around near a stream. One of the boys wandered off near a bush and the other wandered farther downstream. The boy who was wandering downstream started to get lonely, so he went to find his other friend. When he got to the bush where his friend was he saw a naked woman and ran away. The boy that was here for a long time got curious and ran after him and asked, “Why did you run away.”
The other boy said, “My mom said that if I were to ever see a naked woman I would turn to stone. Then I felt something get very hard so I ran.”
#31. Q: JOEY KOLA: SCARY LAUGH
A: Make sure you laugh normally. My grandfather, very scary — big Italian grandfather, very scary laughter. You don’t know if he’s gonna blackout, cave in or throw up on you when he laughs.
Short Funny Jokes
#32. Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case!
#33. Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
A: Drop him a line!
#34. Q: I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture.
A: But when I got home the tables were turned.
#35. Q: What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream?
A: Depeche a la Mode.
#36. Q: THE LORD’S NAME IN VAIN
A: A man was working on a preacher’s car in a garage and he was pushing hard on a wrench to loosen a nut and his hand slipped.
He yelled “G**damn it” and the preacher said, “Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain, say ‘Lord, help me, Lord help me.'”
The man went back to work and, a little while after, his hand slipped again and he said “Goddamn it” again.
The preacher again told him, “Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain, say ‘Lord help me, Lord help me.'” The man put the car up on the jacks and got under it and, all of a sudden, the car starts coming down and he said, “Lord, help me, Lord help me!” And the car started rising. The preacher said all of a sudden, “Well, Goddamn.”
#37. Q: What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A: A traffic jam
#38. Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and quackers!
#39. Q: Short Funny Jokes Knock Knock!
A: I love.
I love who?
I don’t know, you tell me!
#40. Q: How do you repair a broken tomato?
A: Tomato Paste!
#41. Q: Short Funny Jokes What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: You can roast beef, but you cant pea soup!
#42. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
#43. Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.
#44. Q: Where did the vampire college student go clothes shopping?
A: Forever 21
#45. Terminal Illness – Getting sick at the airport.
#46. Q: What do you call a dentist in the army?
A: A drill sergeant
#47. Q: Did you hear about the monster with five legs?
A: His trousers fit him like a glove.
#48. Q: What’s the smartest animal?
A: A fish because they stay in schools!
#49. Q: When the best time to go to the dentist?
#50. Q: Last night, I gave my girlfriend a medieval battle uniform to polish while I went to the bar…
A: She always said she wanted a night in, shining armor.
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