Top 370+ Funny Quotes With Pictures & Sayings

These funny quotes and hilarious sayings will make you laugh. Read and share these funny quotes from famous comedians, actors, authors, TV shows, and movies. There’s just something about getting a good laugh in that can make your day a million times better. If you’re looking for funny quotes to make you smile, to give a toast with, or to send to a loved one, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve curated the best funny quotes and sayings.

Looking for the best funny sayings with pictures, photos & images? Love that these pictures can be used on Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, Twitter, and others. 370 the happy funny pictures to bring Positive words for your happy life.

Funny Quotes With Pictures Sayings life

Top Funny Quotes

“1. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.”

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“2. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”

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“3. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.”

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“4. I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.”

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“5. If Cinderella’s shoe fits perfectly, then why did it fall off? ”

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“6. A cop pulled me over and told me “Papers”, so I said “Scissors, I win!” and drove off. ”

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“7. If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? ”

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“8. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it. ”

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“9. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. ”

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“10. Dear Santa, this year I’d like a fat bank account, and a thin body… please don’t confuse the two like you did last time. ”

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“11. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. ”

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“12. Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.”

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“13. If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.”

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“14. Don’t know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they’ll show up quickly.”

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“15. Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life. ”

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“16. I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. ”

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“17. My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. ”

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“18. When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. It has nothing new to tell you. ”

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“19. I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect. ”

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“20. When people tell me “You’re going to regret that in the morning,” I sleep in until noon because I’m a problem solver.”

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“21. I made a huge to-do list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.”

“22. A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. ”

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“23. I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. ”

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“24. They say “don’t try this at home” so I’m coming over to your house to try it.”

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“25. You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. ”

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“26. I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu… But a carebear, I’d definitely fight a carebear for you. ”

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“27. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. ”

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“28. It’s alright if you don’t agree with me… I can’t force you to be right. ”

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“29. As your best friend, I’ll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. ”

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“30. I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor. ”

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“31. Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.”

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“32. Papercut: A tree’s final moment of revenge.”

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“33. At night, I can’t fall asleep. In the morning, I can’t get up.”

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“34. As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement. ”

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“35. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot.”

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“36. Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.”

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“37. When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it’s already 6:45. When you’re at work and it’s 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it’s 2:31.”

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“38. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.”

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“39. Don’t make me laugh, I’m trying to be mad at you.”

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“40. That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like “I’ve got nothing man.”

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“41. You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!”

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“42. Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. ”

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“43. Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.”

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“44. My prince is not coming on a white horse… He’s obviously riding a turtle and definitely lost. ”

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“45. Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.”

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“46. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, the hardest thing in the world. ”

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“47. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

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“48. That moment when there’s a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master.”

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“49. Dear automatic flushing toilet… I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn’t done yet. ”

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“50. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.”

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“51. When nothing is going right, go left. ”

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“52. Silence is golden unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. ”

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“53. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. ”

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“54. Don’t mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. ”

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“55. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that’s confusing.”

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“56. When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn’t then go in through the window.”

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“57. My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I’m still at work.”

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“58. Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.”

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“59. “Revenge” sounds so mean, that’s why I prefer to call it “Returning the favor.”

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“60. I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake. ”

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“61. Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. ”

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“62. If you keep annoying me, I’ll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it’s Santa’s hotline. ”

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“63. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy.”

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“64. My goal this weekend is to move… just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.”

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“65. Life is not about how you survive the storm, it’s about how you dance in the rain. ”

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“66. You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. ”

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“67. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.”

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“68. In the morning I can’t eat, I’m thinking of you. In the evening I can’t eat, I’m thinking of you. In the night I can’t sleep.. I’m so hungry! ”

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“69. Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.”

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“70. I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.”

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“71. When you fall, I will be there to catch you – With love, the floor. ”

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“72. We are going to be best friends forever… besides you already know too much.”

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“73. Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. ”

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“74. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again.”

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“75. For the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog. ”

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“76. I wish my wallet came with free refills. ”

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“77. The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and the friendship begins with you and me. ”

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“78. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

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“79. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.”

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“80. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.”

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“81. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.”

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“82. If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need.”

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“83. Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can’t live without each other.”

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“84. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.”

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“85. I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

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“86. If you’re passionate about what you do and have the work ethic to match, you will succeed.”

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“87. Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90-year-old, the body of a 20-year-old, and the energy of a 3-year-old. ”

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“88. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.”

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“89. I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong.”

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“90. I know the voices in my head aren’t real….. but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! ”

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“91. An apple a day keeps anyone anyway if you throw it hard enough.”

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“92. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.”

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“93. Yes, of course, I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.”

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“94. Of course, I talk to myself… sometimes I need expert advice.”

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“95. I really should do something with my life… maybe tomorrow. ”

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“96. I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.”

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“97. Got to work this morning and my boss told me ‘have a good day’, so I went home and had a great day! ”

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“98. I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don’t give out free samples.”

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“99. I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers because I can always count on them. ”

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“100. I don’t know how to act my age because I’ve never been this old before. ”

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Minions Quotes Funny Pics

Top Funny Minions Quotes and Jokes. Minions are new trend on everyday life, Bellow following are some latest minions memes and jokes, one quote that applies so much today and I wanted to share here

“1. I hate when I forget to press send and I’m sitting there like an idiot waiting for a reply.”

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“2. They say that the body is made up of 90% water so… I’m not fat I’m just waterlogged!”

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“3. Shot my first turkey today… scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. I was awesome!”

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“4. I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say: “Hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot.”

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“5. A relationship isn’t always 50/50. Some days a person will struggle. You suck it up and pick up that 80/20 cause they need you. That’s love.”

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“6. Why do people with brains the size of peas have mouths the size of Water Melons?”

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“7. Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… ‘Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.’”

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“8. You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!”

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“9. Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.”

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“10. Better days are just around the corner. They’re called… Friday, Saturday, and Sunday… I’m so ready for the weekend!”

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“11. If someone calls you ‘ugly’ have a good comeback and say ‘Excuse me, I am not a mirror’.”

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“12. It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth…”

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“13. Don’t make me mad and then tell me to calm down. That’s like shooting someone and then wondering why they’re bleeding.”

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“14. When I feel down and someone tells me to “suck it up”. I get the urge to break their legs with a baseball bat and then say “walk if off”

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“15. My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry.”

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“16. My kids call it “yelling” when I raise my voice… But I call it “Motivational speaking” for the selective hearing.”

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“17. “Did you just fall?” “Noo. I attacked the floor.”

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“18. Is it still morning?”

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“19. Sit your down & study”

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“20. If God shuts a door, quit banging on it! Whatever was behind it, wasn’t meant for you. Consider the fact that maybe he closed that door because he knew you were worth so much more.”

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“21. Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.”

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“22. A best friend is someone who loves you when you forgot to love yourself.”

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“23. I didn’t fall. The floor was lonely so I gave it a hug.”

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“24. It’s ok. I’m on 500mgs on fukitol.”

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“25. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.”

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“26. Happiness starts with you. Not with your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but with you.”

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“27. You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For example, they’re wrapped around your throat. She’s probably upset.”

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“28. Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is a salad.”

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“29. Kindness makes you the most beautiful person in the world no matter what you look like.”

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“30. Some people are like clouds once they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”

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“31. No, I don’t think you’re stupid, I just think you have really bad luck when it comes to thinking”

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“32. I really love my toilet. We’ve been through a lot of shit together.”

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“33. People ask me why is it so hard to trust people. I ask… why is it so hard to keep a promise.”

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“34. The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.”

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“35. Admit it you pushed a door that says pull”

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“36. I may be a bad influence but… Damn, I’m fun!!!”

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“37. Shortest horror story: Monday”

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“38. One good thing about going through the worst parts of your life is that you finally get to see the true colors of everyone who said they cared about you.”

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“39. If you like someone set them free. If they come back, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.”

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“40. Idiots cause stress. Stress causes depression. Depression causes physical ailments. Conclusion: stupid people make me sick.”

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“41. People are created to be loved. Things are created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is that things are being loved and people are being used.”

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“42. True friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you with something even better.”

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“43. If I was meant to be controlled I would have come with a remote.”

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“44. You know you’re old when your knees give you a more accurate weather forecast than the guy on the tv.”

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“45. Every mum gave birth to a child, except for my mum. She gave birth to a legend! High five mum!”

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“46. Welcome! Today’s specials are lack of sleep, up too early and low on patience. Thank you, please come again.”

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“47. The hardest part of my job is.. being nice to stupid people.”

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“48. When two people really care about each other, they always find a way to make it work. No matter how hard it is..”

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“49. When I die, I want my tombstone to offer free WiFi, just so people will visit more often.”

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“50. Just do it… later”

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“51. Yeah, I’ve got O.C.D old, cranky and dangerous.”

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“52. When killing them with kindness doesn’t work, try a hockey stick. Results may vary!!”

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“53. Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?”

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“54. My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry!”

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“55. I would like to think I would die a heroic death, but it’s more likely I’ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.”

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“56. My doctor told me to start killing people. Well, not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing.”

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“57. You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you! Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have alcohol. Need a friend? Text me. Need a laugh? Call me. Need money? This number is no longer in service. Looking at your best friend and saying: I’ll do it if you do it. A true friend is someone who thanks you’re a good egg!! Even though they know you’re slightly cracked!”

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“58. I have seen better days, but I’ve also seen worse. I don’t have everything I want, but I do have all I need. I woke up with some aches and pains, but I woke up, my life may not be perfect but I am blessed.”

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“59. Remember, anyone can love you when the sun is shining. In the storm, you learn who truly cares for you”

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“60. Felling so tired that I think I might have that Chinese disease called Dragon Ass.”

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“61. They say don’t try this at home… so I’m going to go to my friend’s house and try it.”

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“62. Sometimes I feel ugly. Then I look at my brother and I’m okay!”

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“63. I’m not crazy. I prefer the term mentally hilarious.”

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“64. Whenever you are sad. Remember, the minions love you.”

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“65. What do you call a pig who knows karate? A pork chop!”

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“66. I’m just going to relax & enjoy a quiet evening at home… … mainly because I can’t afford to go anywhere or do anything.”

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“67. If you see me talking to myself, don’t be alarmed. I’m getting expert advice.”

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“68. I’m a girl. I don’t smoke, drink or party every weekend. I don’t sleep around or start drama to get attention. Yes, we still do exist.”

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“69. I just stepped on a cornflake. Now I am officially a serial killer.”

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“70. I don’t care what you earn, where you live, what you drive, whether you’re fat or thin, tall or short, beautiful or average, rich or poor, smart or not. If you’re my friend, you’re my friend. I accept you for who you are, and that’s all that matters!”

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“71. Someone called me lazy today… I almost responded.”

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“72. That annoying moment when you are texting someone and auto correct decides to join the conversation.”

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“73. You say I’m dirty minded… …But, how did you understand what I meant?”

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“74. Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it..”

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“75. I hate mosquitoes. I mean I know I’m delicious but damn!”

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“76. Eat whatever you want, and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.”

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“77. It takes real skill to choke on air, fall up stairs and trip over completely nothing. I have that skill..”

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“78. Note to self: just because it pops into my head does not mean it should come out of my mouth.”

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“79. Don’t judge me just because I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.”

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“80. I hate when I’m trying to eat a salad and it accidentally falls in the trash and then I have to eat pizza instead.”

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“81. I’m always in trouble for something. It’s just the depth that varies.”

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“82. Don’t judge me for the choices I make when you don’t know the options I had to choose from.”

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“83. Sarcasm: the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”

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“84. Never sing in the shower singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked, so remember don’t sing”

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“85. So how do I tell my boss I don’t want to work anymore but I still want the money?”

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“86. Sometimes when I close my eyes I cant see.”

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“87. You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.”

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Funny Quotes about Minions

Best Funny Minions Quotes and Jokes. Minions are new trend on INTERNET, whatever the topic be these minions memes are sure to pop up one way or the other.

“1. If dentists make their money off people with bad teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 9 out of 10 dentists recommend?”

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“2. My diet plan: make all my friend’s cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look.”

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“3. The awkward moment when you’ve already said ‘what?’ 3 times and still have no idea what the other person said, so you just agree!”

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“4. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow, somewhere else!”

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“5. I licked it, so it’s mine”

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“6. Some people are just like trees. They take forever to grow up.”

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“7. Warning: going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent Monday. There is no cure.”

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“8. If a clown fart does it smell funny?”

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“9. I’m not even on drugs, I’m just weird..”

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“10. So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out”

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“11. Not happy with your life, make some changes; things not going your way, change your directions; can’t find happiness in others, look within yourself.”

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“12. Daughter: What is marriage? Mom: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore….”

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“13. The nice part about living in a small town is that if you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does.”

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“14. I’m currently making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you’re one of them.”

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“15. The public toilet I was in the public toilets and had just sat down. A voice from the next cubicle said, “Hi!, how are you?” Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing fine”. The voice said, “So what are you up to?”. I said, “just doing the same as you, sitting here!” From next door, “Can I come over?” Annoyed, I said, “rather busy right now”. The voice said, “Listen, I will have to call you back, there’s an idiot next door answering all my questions.”

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“16. I really think that tossing and turning at night should be considered as exercise!”

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“17. Going on YouTube just to watch a quick music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe.”

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“18. Always trust your first gut instincts… if you genuinely feel in your heart and soul that something is wrong, it usually is”

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“19. You: Teacher! Teacher: Yes? You: Would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: of course not. You: I didn’t do my homework.”

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“20. I always wanted to win the lottery. But tonight I looked around at my beautiful family and realized I already have!”

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“21. My room is not a mess. It’s an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.”

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“22. A text from the right person can change your whole mood.”

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“23. Finding friends with the same mental disorder as you priceless!”

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“24. Whoever said the customer is always right has never worked with the public a day in their freaking life!”

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“25. My mom said to follow your dreams, so I went back to bed!”

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“26. Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.”

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“27. I am multi-talented! I can talk, annoy and irritate you all at the same time!”

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“28. I hate how chocolates immediately melt on my fingers. I mean, am I that hot?”

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“29. You are so fake, that even china denied they made you!”

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“30. Being able to respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a healthy brain.”

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“31. No matter how big your house is, how recent your car is, or how big your bank account is. Our graves will always be the same size. Stay humble.”

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“32. It’s so damn cold outside. I just farted snowflakes.”

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“33. I had fun once. It was awful.”

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“34. Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.”

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“35. I’ve taken up photography because it’s the only hoppy where you can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail.”

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“36. Dear haters, I couldn’t help but notice that ‘Awesome’ ends with ‘Me’ and ‘Ugly’ starts with ‘U’”

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“37. Police: “you were going fast.” Me: “I was trying to keep up with traffic.” Police: “There isn’t any.” Me: “That’s how far behind I am.”

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“38. OMG, I have finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left..”

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“39. If being in my pajamas by 7 pm is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.”

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“40. Innocent by nature naughty by choice”

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“41. If stress burned calories I’d be a super model…”

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“42. Have you ever wondered if the dollar bills in your purse or wallet were ever in a strippers butt crack? If not, you’re wondering now.”

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“43. Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.”

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“44. The family is not about blood. It’s about who is willing to hold your hand when you need it the most.”

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“45. In the end, people will judge you anyway, so don’t live your life impressing others. Live your life impressing yourself.”

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“46. At my age I’ve – seen it all – done it all – heard it all I just can’t remember it all!!”

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“47. Isn’t it funny how red, white & blue represent freedom…. Until they’re flashing behind you.”

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“48. Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you. So we’re even.”

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“49. Don’t lose hope. You never know what tomorrow will bring.”

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“50. When I am home alone, every noise I hear is a serial killer..”

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“51. Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t get in trouble you’re fired!”

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“52. Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden!”

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“53. I have 3 sides. 1. The quiet and sweet side. 2. The fun and crazy side. 3. The side you never want to see.”

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“54. Start using your head. That’s the lump that’s three feet above your ass.”

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“55. In life, you will realize there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you, and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the rare and amazing people who remind you why it’s worth it.”

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“56. My alone time is sometimes for your safety. Don’t forget that.”

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“57. Sometimes, my greatest accomplishment…. Is just keeping my mouth shut!”

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“58. If nothing goes right go left.”

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“59. MIB minions in black”

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“60. I’m off to club bed featuring DJ pillow –and- MC blanky”

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“61. I am “wonder woman” I wonder where I left my keys, I wonder where I put my purse, I wonder where my money went.”

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“62. You know that little voice inside your head that keeps yours from saying things you shouldn’t? yeah, I don’t have one of those. ”

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“63. Warning! To avoid injury stop telling me how to do my job.”

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“64. We will be best friends forever because you already know too much.”

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“65. As a kid, I think I ate too many Rice Krispies. Now all my body does is snap crackle and pop!”

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“66. It’s so damn cold outside. I just farted snowflakes.”

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“67. Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.”

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“68. Spray some glitter on your life!”

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“69. The tongue has no bones, but its strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words”

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“70. I’m so tired my tired is tired!”

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“71. It wasn’t a fart… my lower intestine blew you a kiss.”

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“72. Why periods? Why can’t mother nature just text me and be like, “whaddup girl?. You ain’t pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya next month.”

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“73. Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and just
whisper quietly “you can see me?”

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“74. Good humor always a Positive way of life. – Nivethika”

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“75. *Phone on silent*. 10 missed calls. *Turns volume to loudest*. Nobody calls all day.”

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“76. Admit it you’ve done one of these: 1) Walked into a room, forgot what you needed, walked out, and then remembered. 2) When you were younger, drew the sun in the corner of the paper 3) When you were little, thought the shape of a real heart was actually “ “ 4) Closed the fridge door really slow, just to see when the lights went off. 5) Tried to balance the light, between the on & off”

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“77. I eat cake because it is somebody’s birthday somewhere.”

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“78. Dealing with some people is like trying to nail jello to a wall.”

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Funny Words of Encouragement

Life has its funny moments. Let these funny quotes about life remind you of such times but also you can read between the lines and find the wisdom that they say to me “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

“1. It’s a joke not a dxck,don’t take it so hard.”

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“2. Relax and trust the timing of your life. You will figure out your career. You will find the right relationship. You will become the person you always wanted to be. Just don’t forget to appreciate who you are now.”

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“3. The fears we don’t face become our limits.”

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“4. COMPASSION is something I have a lot of because I’ve been through a lot of pain in my life. Anybody who has suffered a lot of pain has a lot of compassion.”

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“5. The darkest nights produce the brightest stars”

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“6. “Our greatest experiences are our quiet moments.””

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“7. Train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough so they don’t want to.”

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“8. Just look at life with more playful eyes. Don’t be serious. Seriousness becomes like a blindness. Don’t pretend to be a thinker, a philosopher. Just simply be a human being. The whole world is showering its joy on you in so many ways, but you are too serious, you cannot open your heart.”

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“9. “Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace.””

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“10. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

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“11. 10% of conflict is due to difference in opinion and 90% is due to delivery & tone of voice.”

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“12. The really intelligent people have an attitude of fact finding,instead of fault finding.”

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“13. “Iron is full of impurities that weaken it; through forging, it becomes steel and can be transformed into a razor-sharp sword. Human beings develop in the same fashion.”

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“14. I’d rather have a life of ‘oh wells’ than a life of’what ifs'”

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“15. If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”

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“16. Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less”

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“17. Do not speak badly of your self. For the Warrior within hears your words and is lessened by them.”

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“18. You Can Not change the people around you, But you can change the people that you choose to be around”

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“19. “I walk slowly,but I never walk backward.””

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“20. Don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you.”

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“21. Amazing things happen when you distance yourself from negativity.”

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“22. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

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“23. Be a fruit loop in a world of cheerios”

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“24. Kabir will suggest meditation, Buddha has suggested meditation, I suggest meditation. Meditation is a different approach: it has nothing to do with God, it has something to do with you, with your mind. It has to create a silence within you, a deep utter silence. In that utter silence, you will start feeling the presence of God.”

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“25. Practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll later regret.”

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“26. Set a goal that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning”

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“27. Stay patient and trust your journey.”

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“28. See rejection as a redirection.”

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“29. Live:now success be a good person but don’t waste time proving it”

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“30. People who are well-liked: 1. Ask for nothing 2. Laugh at themselves 3. Listen with interest 4. Rarely complain 5. Inspire others 6. Teach 7. Give”

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“31. I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things”

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“32. When you do not seek or need approval, you are at your most powerful.”

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“33. Soft words soften the hearts that are harder than rock, harsh words harden hearts that are softer than silk”

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“34. A bad attitude can literally block love, blessings, and destiny from finding you. Don’t be the reason you don’t succeed.”

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“35. The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”

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“36. Make yourself a priority. because at the end, you’re your longest commitment.”

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“37. never take one single breath for granted”

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“38. Not taking refugees & closing our borders doesn’t mean we,’re mean. I lock my doors every night. I don’t lock them because I hate the people outside. I lock them because I LOVE the people INSIDE!!!”

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“39. Vibes don’t lie”

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“40. “Everyone is gifted. But most people never open their package.”

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“41. “A fool is quick- tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.”

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“42. “Welfare’s purpose should be to eliminate, as far as possible, the need for its own existence.”

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“43. In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

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“44. Duality Duality is essentially the state of separation – it is the opposite of reality, and it is the cause of all suffering. Duality it is the product of the mind. In duality, we essentially “split” or divide life into “right/wrong,” “good/bad,” “pretty/ugly,” “holy/sinful,” “love/hate,” and so forth. As a result,our lives become centered around judgement, condemnation,and fear.”

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“45. You’re not going to mater the rest of your life in one day.Just relax. Master the day. Then just keep doing that every day.”

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“46. Your mind will always believe everything you tell it. Feed it hope. Feed it truth. Feed it with love.”

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“47. Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you’ll be criticized anyway.”

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“48. be kind.work hard.stay humble. smile often. stay loyal. keep honest. travel when possible. never stop learning. be thankful always. and love.”

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Short Funny Quotes On Wisdom

Wisdom Quotes about funny sayings “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”

“1. “I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels.life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”

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“2. “Leadership’s not a title.It’s a behavior.Live it.”

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“3. Your Faith Can Move Mountains And Your Doubt Can Create Them.”

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“4. Do everything with a good heart and expect nothing in return, and you will never be disappointed.”

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“5. We don’t meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason.”

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“6. Rule number 1: Fuxk what they think.”

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“7. I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying…”

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“8. I have so much left to say to you”

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“9. You’re Not A Mess. You’re Brave For Trying.”

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“10. Actions always prove why words mean nothing.”

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“11. Always keep your love life, bank account and next move private.”

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“12. May The Words Of My Mouth And The Meditation Of My Heart Be Pleasing To You, O Lord, My Rock, And My Redeemer?Psalm 19:14 NLT”

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“13. “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”

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“14. “A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.”

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“15. The highest form of wisdom is kindness.”

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“16. If you never try you’ll never know”

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“17. The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don’t.”

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“18. fear does not stop death,it stops life”

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“19. The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. because when you dedicate your time, you are offering a part of your life that you will never get back.”

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“20. “Being happy never goes out of style”

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“21. Sometimes, it’s ok to take a step back and admit you’re being ridiculous.”

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“22. GANDHI said keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your WORDS. Keep your words positive because your words become your BEHAVIOR. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your HABITS. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your VALUES. Keep your values positive because your values become your DESTINY.”

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“23. THIS IS WHAT YOU DON’T DO.Don’t let this world make you bitter. Don’t let the actions of other people turn you cold on the inside. Certain things happen that hurt us, people come that leave us, and most of all there are moments when you’re bound to fall. Don’t let those things make you unkind. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad. But it’s never okay to do other people wrong just because you were done wrong. We’re human. We break. We make mistakes. But don’t let pain and sadness run your lives. Wake up in the morning and do what you think is right. There are moments in your life where you feel like giving up and you can’t take it anymore. It’s okay.Breathe.Inhale.Exhale.I know you’re weak. But the things that show your weak side are also the same ones that make you stronger in the long run. It’s all about taking whatever life throws at you and learning from it.”

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“24. Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”

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“25. “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

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“26. Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.”

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“27. If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.”

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Inspirational Funny Quotes

Even the most creative among us sometimes feel uninspired. To change that, have a look at our collection of truly funny inspirational quotes.

“1. Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand ~ relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.”

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“2. You can never be overdressed or overeducated”

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“3. The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person – without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other.They allow the other absolute freedom because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.Osho, Being in Love”

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“4. “To see a man beaten not by a better opponent, but by himself is a tragedy.”

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“5. Attract what you expect.reflect what you desire.become what you respect.and mirror what you admire.”

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“6.” It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling that actually, no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now.”

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“7. “One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.”

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“8. If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together there is something you must always remember you are braver than you believe stronger than you seem and smarter than you think but the most important thing is even if we are apart I’ll always be with you.”

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“9. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

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“10. “You know the truth, by the way, it feels.”

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“11. Remember, when you forgive, you heal. And when you let go, you grow.”

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“12. You can work hard, but if you don’t work smart you’ll work for the rest of your life.”

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“13. Every word of God is pure, He is a shield unto them that put their trust in Him.”

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“14. We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.”

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“15. When you love what you have, you have everything you need.”

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“16. The STRONGEST factor for success is self-esteem: Believing you can do it, believing you deserve it and believing you will get it.”

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“17. Your Beliefs Don’t Make You A Better Person, Your Behavior Does.”

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“18. “Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters.”

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“19. Never leave a true relationship for a few faults. Nobody is perfect, nobody is correct in the end affection is always greater than perfection.”

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“20. Be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant.”

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“21. A wise person knows that there is something to be learned from everyone.”

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“22. Leaders with influence give when they don’t have to. care for others. grow continuously. live authentically. empower others. Manage hardship. Serve with humility.”

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“23. For the beauty of the rose, we also water the thorns.”

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“24. One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.”

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“25. “If you always put a limit on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

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“26. Do not listen with the intent to reply, but with the intent to understand.”

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“27. Never tell your problems to anyone… 20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.”

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“28. The saddest thing about BETRAYAL is that it never comes from your enemies.”

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“29. When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

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“30. If someone tells you it can’t be done smile & graciously agree then go work twice as hard to prove them wrong twice as fast.”

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Inspirational funny quotes with pictures always give us Positive thinking eyes drops with a laugh. So we collected the most adorable Top 370+ life funny quotes “Don’t be afraid of chance. You may end up losing something good, but you will probably end up gaining something better.

Best funny wishes To Say about life “Success in life comes when you simply refuse to give up, with goals so strong that obstacles, failure, and loss only act as motivation.

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