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36 Funny Quotes Of The Day Precious Your Time

36 Funny Quotes Of The Day Precious Your Time Funny Quotes Pictures That Will Make Your Day.lol so true! OMG Quotes will help you every time you need a little extra motivation

36 Funny Quotes Of The Day Precious Your Time 1

36 Funny Quote Of The Day Precious Your Time 1

36 Funny Quotes Of The Day Precious Your Time 2

36 Funny Quote Of The Day Precious Your Time 2

1. “What do you mean tomorrow is Monday!?! It was just Friday a few hours ago!”

2. “You think I’m gonna be the bread – winner while you just loaf all day? You aren’t the only slice of toast in the world, melba. Mother warned me not to marry a sourdough.”

3. “If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart!”

4. “When you’re thinking of ways to become a millionaire overnight so you don’t have to go work tomorrow.”

5. ““Don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done.””

6. “Have you ever been in one of those moods where you don’t really know what’s wrong, but you feel really irritated with everyone and everything.”

7. “I’ve finally lost my mind. If found, don’t bother to return it. It wasn’t working properly anyway.”

8. “Laughing is the best medicine. Unless you’re laughing for no reason… then you need medicine. Ha ha ha.”

9. “If olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made of? OMG!”

10. “If you don’t do stupid things while you’re young, you will have nothing to smile about when you’re old.”

Funny Quotes — Hilarious Quotes to Make You Laugh

11. “Are you here to amplitate all of my limbs and eat my brains!? No… actually I came to tell you that you dropped your wallet. And I’m a vegetarian you stereotyping jerk.”

12. “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”

13. “I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there’s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.”

14. “C’mon dude, stop being so dramatic. My fart wasn’t that deadly.”

15. “For the love of god, turn the page. You are like the slowest reader ever.”

16. “This towel must be very heavy.”

17. “Dutch driving theory test question 1 you are driving your car, are you allowed to stay behind this bike?”

18. “And just a pinch of… oops assholes trees.”

19. “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have? No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have? Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have? Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have? Where in the heck do you get seven from?! Seven seven six seven because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

20. “Every naked person I see turns me on.”

Cool Funny Quotes – Amusing Sayings and Quotations

21. “Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking. “If anyone heard us right now we’d be put into a mental hospital””

22. “Friendship isn’t about whom you’ve known the longest, it’s about who came and never left your side.”

23. “I can’t. The hash tags are hilarious I left the toilet seat up yesterday and at 2am this morning… It finally happened. To all the women in my life, past & present, I apologize… Especially my grandma. I get it now.”

24. “Yesterday, I was walking down the street holding hands with my wife. I suddenly dropped her hand, and grabbed my cell phone to take this picture. She sit me in my chest and wouldn’t talk to me the rest of the day. Last night she asked me “How could you?” I said “How could I not? It’s not every day you see a dog driving a car.”

25. “Sometimes all you need is a hug from the right person and all your stress will melt away.”

26. “Therapy is expensive popping bubble wrap is cheap.”

27. “My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini. I said, “Wow, that’s an amazing car!” He replied, “If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year.””

28. “There is more money being spent on boobjobs and viagra than on alzheimer’s research, which means by 2040 the elderly will have perky boobs, stiff willies and no idea why.”

29. “I was gonna make a chemistry joke but na.”

30. “Just imagine how perfect life would be if pizza made you skinny!”

Best Funny Quotes To Share With Your Most Hilarious sayings

31. “I exercised once, but found out I was allergic to it! My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous!”

32. “Guys, when a woman is mad, just tell her that she is overreacting. She’ll realize you’re right and she will calm right down.”

33. “Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say, “I know it’s hard. You’re going to be okay. Here is chocolate and 6 million dollars.””

34. “A panda researchers in china, wear panda costumes to give mother-like feeling to a lonely baby panda who lost her mother.”

35. “When your son asks you why he has to study… Show him this photo. When your daughter asks you why she has to study.. Show her this photo.”

36. “When you’re ready to go but your phone is on 10%”

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