Top 40 Funny Witty Quotes. Witty Quotes and Sayings: Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? has its funny moments. Let these funny quotes about life remind you of such times but also you can read between the lines and find the wisdom that they offer.

Cute funny quotes about life “It’s such a funny thing when you see your daughter transitioning from your baby, your little girl, to suddenly being a young woman. If you’re not really looking for it, you can miss it, and Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. -Johnny Depp”

We collected the best funny thought for your daily routine. here are the best 42 cool funny memes and hilarious sayings. photo credits Pinterest

Funny Witty Quotes

1. You Shouldn’t I don’t have that?

2. When you are stupid?

3. I found it dear!?

4. You Shouldn’t Mature with?

5. When you find out?

6. You don’t ask stupid questions?

7. At the speed of WTF’s?

8. Who acts just like you?

9. Abraham Lincoln Said: ?

10. Never make same mistake twice?

Inspirational funny quotes with pictures always give us a Positive thinking eyes drops with laugh. So we collected the most adorable Top 370+ life funny quotes “Don’t be afraid of chance. You may end up losing something good, but you will probably end up gaining something better.

Best funny wishes To Say about life “Success in life comes when you simply refuse to give up, with goals so strong that obstacles, failure, and loss only act as motivation.

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Top Funny Quotes

“1. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.”

“2. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”

“3. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.”

“4. I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.”

“5. If Cinderella’s shoe fits perfectly, then why did it fall off? ”

“6. A cop pulled me over and told me “Papers”, so I said “Scissors, I win!” and drove off. ”

“7. If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? ”

“8. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it. ”

“9. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. ”

“10. Dear Santa, this year I’d like a fat bank account, and a thin body… please don’t confuse the two like you did last time. ”

Funny minions Quote Top 40+ Short Funny Words with funny sayings “sometimes Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. – Margaret Mead

Best funny quotes about life lessons and funny images with quotes “Having a rough morning? Feel your heart. That’s your purpose of being alive.’

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Funny Quotes Minions

“1. The night has fallen, the day has done. The moon has taken the place of the sun. Close your eyes and snuggle up tight, angels will watch over you tonight..”

“2. I’m alive! that’s about as much as you can expect from me today!”

“3. Screw the padded room give me a trampoline floor with bubble wrapped walls and velcro ceiling”

“4. Remember: Just because you went to college doesn’t make you smarter than anyone else… Common sense doesn’t come with a degree.”

“5. Nope, can’t go to hell satan still has that restraining order against me!!!”

“6. The harsh truth is that nothing lasts forever, so when you have it, enjoy it, appreciate it. Don’t take it for granted.”

“7. Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don’t you worry I’ll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you!”

“8. Warning: My mouth is a bit like a magician’s hat… You just never know what’s gonna come out of it.”

“9. The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

“10. Having a rough day? Place your hand over your heart. Feel that? that’s called purpose. You’re alive for a reason. Don’t give up.”

“11. Lost your pen = no pen No pen = no notes No notes = no study No study = fail Fail = no diploma No diploma = no work No work = no money No money = no food No food = skinny Skinny = ugly Ugly = no love No love = no marriage No marriage = no children No children = alone Alone = depression Depression = sickness Sickness = death Lesson: Don’t lose your pen, you will die.”

“12. Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.”

“13. Sometimes being silly… with a friend is the best therapy!”

“14. I love how coffee fixes everything. Tired? drink some coffee, headache? drink coffee, cold? drink coffee, someone makes you angry? bust them in the head with the cup!”

“15. I fart because it is the only gas I can afford!!”

“16. Love is not finding someone to live with. it’s finding someone you can’t live without.”

“17. Please be patient. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.”

“18. I am so glad I was young and stupid long before there were camera phones.”

“19. When a woman says”what?” It’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.”

“20. My kid is just as weird and twisted as I am. I’m not sure if I should be proud or scared.”

“21. If I manage to survive the rest of the week, I would like my straight jacket in hot pink & my helmet to sparkle.”

“22. Some days I just don’t have enough middle fingers to go around!!!”

“23. My teacher pointed me with his ruler and said: “At the end of this ruler there’s an idiot!” I got detention after asking which end.”

“24. Don’t give up on your dreams keep sleeping”

“25. Apparently, I have an attitude. Who knew!”

Short Funny Words

“26. To all those people that make me laugh and smile: I couldn’t live without you.”

“27. Sometimes the girl who’s always been there for everyone else needs someone to be there for her.”

“28. Do you not love me? it is not serious!! You have the right to have some shit”

“29. All my life I thought the air was free… Until I bought a bag of chips.”

“30. Did you know there’s an app on your phone that makes you look ugly? It’s called “Camera”.”

“31. “I just watched my dog chase its tail for 5 minutes and I thought: Dogs are easily entertained”… Then I realized, “I was just watching my dog chase its tail for 5 minutes.”

“32. I know the voices in my head aren’t real… But sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!”

“33. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.”

“34. Do you ever just wake up and say ‘Nope’ … and roll over and go back to sleep again..”

“35. Have you ever felt like you did everything right and it still all went wrong.”

“36. God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world… Then he made the world around and laughed and laughed…”

“37. A woman’s anger is like a check engine light. There is no way to figure out why it came on. Just ignore it and hope it goes away.”

“38. A best friend’s someone who when you show up at their door with a dead body they say nothing, grab a shovel and follow you.”

“39. Don’t worry about getting older. You still get to do stupid things, only slower.”

“40. Happy birthday!”