Humorous Quotes About Life. These funny quotes and hilarious sayings will make you laugh. Read and share these funny quotes from famous comedians, actors, authors, TV shows, and movies. Telling corny jokes or watching feel-good comedies is a sure-fire way to add levity to your day, but if you need a quick fix, then we’ve got tons of funny quotes that are guaranteed to ease the tension and create a little pocket of joy amid life’s stresses.
Looking for funny quotes about life? Here are our favorite funny Humorous quotes about life, work, and becoming successful.
Humorous Quotes About Life
#1. “Life is like eating artichokes you have to go through so much to get so little.” Thomas
#2. “Smile and let everyone know that today, you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday.”
#3. “Next time a stranger talks to you when you’re alone, just look at them shocked and whisper, “you can see me?”
#4. “Yes, an optimist can be wrong – in the same way, that a pessimist can be wrong. But the optimist is far happier.”
#5. “Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring. So I go back to being me.”
#6. “We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”
#7. “You know you’re an adult when you get excited to just go home.”
#8. “Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you very busy doing nothing.”
#9. “One day or day one. It’s your decision.”
#10. “I am going to succeed because I am crazy enough to think that I can.”
#11. “Life is very funny, you never know how if you strong she is taking the until she gets time in hot water. To watch it. – Eleanor Roosevelt”
#12. “The most important thing is to enjoy your life-to be happy-it’s all that matters.”
#13. “A woman is like a tea bag I wish people came with a 30-second trailer so I can see what I’m getting myself into.”
#14. “If your path is more difficult, it’s because your calling is higher.”
#15. “There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Don’t let it be you.”
#16. “A negative mind will never give you a positive life.”
#17. “A lion never stops after an unsuccessful hunt, why should you?”
#18. “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more. Gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.”
#19. “If you live to be one hundred. You’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age – george burns”
#20. “Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of your life.”
#21. “You are not a pretzel. Don’t twist yourself into who you think people want you to be just to make them happy-which the makes your soul feel all twisty-like be who you are accept & love all your quirky aspects that make us happy.”
#22. “Stress the confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately deserves it.”
#23. “There’s no lemon. So sour that you can’t make something resembling: lemonade.”.”
#24. “They say “don’t try this at home” so I’m coming over to your house to try it.”
#25. “A study in the Washington post says that women have better verbal skin than men. 1 Just want to say to the authors of that study: ‘duh. Conan O’Brien”
#26. “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
#27. “True words how to succeed in life? Talk – softly; eat – sensibly; breath deeply; sleep sufficiently; dress – smartly; act fearlessly; work – patiently; think creatively; behave decently; earn honestly; save – regularly; spend intelligently.”
#28. “I’m losing my mind, but as long as I keep the part that tells me when I gotta pee, I should be okay!”
#29. “I’d like to thank: my middle finger for always being there, sticking up for me all those times when I needed it most.”
#30. “I’m not lazy I’m just in my energy-saving mode.”
#31. “Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn’t last long for fat people.”
#32. “I could kill you with kindness, but crushing your ego with sarcasm is more my style.”
#33. “Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed.”
#34. “You hate me? Well okay, grab a chair and wait for me to care.”
#35. “Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.”
#36. “Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth as stupidity falls out of yours.”
#37. “This is a test if you can read this down here please.”
#38. “I’m not anti-social, I’m selectively social.”
#39. “I wouldn’t say you’re stupid. You are. But I wouldn’t say it.”
#40. “If we get caught you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”
#41. “You sound better with your mouth closed.”
#42. “Sweet as sugar cold as ice hurt me once I’ll break you twice”
#43. “I dont miss you, I miss the person I thought you were.”
#44. “Judge me when you are perfect.”
#45. “The last time I saw something like you… I flushed it.”
#46. “I notice everything, but I keep my mouth shut.”
#47. “Not shy. Just don’t like you.”
#48. “I’m nice until you annoy me.”
#49. “If I ever say “do you want me to be honest?” Say no.”
#50. “I am w.e.i.r.d wonderful exciting interesting real different.”
#51. “Roses are red, the sky is blue. I mind my own business, why don’t you?! Why don’t you.”
#52. “Be good enough to forgive someone but don’t be stupid enough to trust them again.”
#53. “I am not lazy I am in energy-saving mode.”
#54. “Someone who loves you wouldn’t put themselves in a position to lose you.”
#55. “My lips are the gun. My smile is the trigger. My kisses are the bullets. Label me a killer.”
#56. “I will succeed in life, not immediately but definitely.”
#57. “When I miss you, I re-read our old messages and smile like an idiot.”
#58. “I am a nice person. Just don’t push the fuck bitch button.”
#59. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
#60. “There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Humorous Quotes About Life
