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Funny Quotes

75 Best Funny Quotes Life And Funny Sayings

“11. I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator.”

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“12. H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k.= Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge.”

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“13. I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me”

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“14. My doctor asked me if I had ever had a stress test? Yes – I replied it’s called life”

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“15. A guide to deduction 1760. Someone who has obscured or removed fingerprints may work regularly with pineapple, which degrades meat.”

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“16. Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation is going to be epic!”

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“17. Some people are such treasures that you just want to bury them.”

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“18. I’ve reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.”

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“19. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.”

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“20. Math the only place where people buy 64 watermelons and no one wonders why..”

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