30 Pun Quotes and Funny Pick Up Lines You Can Laugh “How do you know Santa is good at karate? He has a black belt!
Did you know that Rudolph the Reindeer never went to school? He was elf taught.
What is a skunks favorite Christmas song? Jingle smells!
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no-body to go with.
I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
An untalented gymnast walks into a bar
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
Long fairy tales have a tendency to the dragon.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
I’m not clumsy, The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies and the walls get in my way.
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I didn’t like having long nails, but they’re growing on me.
Funny Pick Up Lines
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
I learned about electricity today it was lit.
How come it takes so long to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head.
Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.
A blonde decided to paint a room. When her husband got home, he asked, ‘Why are you wearing an Alaskan and a winter coat?’ She replied, ‘The can said for best results apply 2 coats.’
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
I got a compliment on my driving today said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
Jokes with punch lines can be painfully funny.
Two children are born on the same day from the same mother but they are not twins. How is that possible?
Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?
A man goes out in heavy rain with nothing to protect him from it. His hair doesn’t get wet. How does he do that?
Ten ladies tried to fit under a small umbrella, none of them got wet. How did they do it?
What two things can you never eat for breakfast?