“33. Stop asking me to trust you while I’m still coughing up water from the last time you let me drown.”
“34. I hate when I’m trying to bull the blankets up and I punch myself in the face.”
“35. Love is like a fart if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
“36. Of course I talk like an idiot how else could you understand me?”
“37. Never piss off a woman, they remember stuff that hasn’t even happened yet.”
Funny Things To Say To Your Girlfriend
“38. I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I’m going to be today.”
“39. Don’t stand too close to the heater babe. Plastic melts.”
“40. In my life, I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve missed, I’ve hurt, I’ve trusted, I’ve made mistakes, but most of all, I’ve learned.”
