57 Funny Things That Escalated WAY Too Quickly

“33. Stop asking me to trust you while I’m still coughing up water from the last time you let me drown.”

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“34. I hate when I’m trying to bull the blankets up and I punch myself in the face.”

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“35. Love is like a fart if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”

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“36. Of course I talk like an idiot how else could you understand me?”

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“37. Never piss off a woman, they remember stuff that hasn’t even happened yet.”

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Funny Things To Say To Your Girlfriend

“38. I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I’m going to be today.”

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“39. Don’t stand too close to the heater babe. Plastic melts.”

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“40. In my life, I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve missed, I’ve hurt, I’ve trusted, I’ve made mistakes, but most of all, I’ve learned.”

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