Couples in healthy relationships thrive when they share a sense of humor and face life with laughter, With so much humor in the world, we’ve collected some hilarious life quotes. This is not the only quote about life that declares love for animals over people. Best funny inspirational life quotes – funny life sayings and Best Quotes Funny Hilarious ” I Love Sarcasm.”
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But With Words
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Everything Online And Get Mad
1. “I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.”
2. “Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don’t.”
3. “It’s been a rough week, but I made it… how about you?”
4. “I don’t mean to brag but… I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 12 minutes”
5. “The path of inner peace begins with four words not my fucking problem.”
6. “A cop pulled me over and said “papers…” I said “scissors, I win!” and drove off.”
7. “I hate when I forget to press send and I’m sitting there like an idiot waiting for a reply.”
8. “Just stepped on a cornflake. Now I am officially a cereal killer.”
9. “I don’t know how to act my age. I’ve never been this age before.”
10. “I’m not everyone’s cup of tea… But I drink coffee. So fuck them.”
Cute funny love quotes – funny life sayings
11. “Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.”
12. “Of course women don’t work as hard as men… They get it right the first time.”
13. “You’ve got an elf on a shelf I’ve got a trooper on a pooper.”
14. “Do you ever meet someone for the first time and want to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?”
15. “The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.”
16. “Some days I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while I’m talking on it.”
17. “OMG! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!”
18. “My heart has no room for you, but the trunk of my car definitely does.”
19. “I will murder everything you love.”
20. “If mama aint happy, ain’t nobody happy… if grandma ain’t happy… run!”
Short funny quotes about love and relationships
21. “Don’t wear headphones while vacuuming… I’ve just finished the whole house and realised the vacuum wasn’t even plugged in.”
22. “It’s a, ‘I want to fake my own death, move to mexico & live off tacos & tequila’ kinda day!”
23. “At times, I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear in bubbles over our heads.”
24. “Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app they will start using it.”
25. “I try not to laugh at my own jokes but we all know I’m hilarious.”
26. “I live in a madhouse run by a tiny army that I made myself.”
27. “The hardest part of my job is.. Being nice to stupid people.”
28. “I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? Drink water. Clear face? Drink water. Tired of your man? Drown him.”
29. “No I don’t need anger management you need to stop pissing me off!”
30. “Wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say: “hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot.””
Funny quotes about life lessons – funny love quotes and sayings
31. “My soulmate is out there somewhere, pushing a pull door… I just know it.”
32. “It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.”
33. “Dear mother in law please do not tell me how to raise my kids. Im married to one of yours and he still needs some work.”
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A Rough Week, About You?
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I’M Very Fast Whatever
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Begins With Four Words
Here are some of the best quotes about funny and hilarious things:
On Humor
- “Humor is the best medicine.” – Unknown
- “Laughter is the best medicine, but I’m not sure if it’s covered by insurance.” – Unknown
- “I don’t trust people who don’t love sarcasm.” – Unknown
On Jokes
- “A joke is a very serious thing.” – Mark Twain
- “I’m not a comedian, I’m a humorist. There’s a difference. A comedian is someone who tells jokes, and a humorist is someone who tells the truth.” – Steve Martin
- “I love being a comedian. It’s the only job where you can get paid for being a goofball.” – Ellen DeGeneres
On Laughter
- “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” – Victor Borge
- “Laughter is the best way to forget your troubles, but then you’ll forget where you put them.” – Unknown
- “Laughter is contagious, but I’m not sure if it’s a virus.” – Unknown
On Comedy
- “Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them cry.” – Unknown
- “Comedy is the best way to make people forget about their problems, but then they’ll forget about the solution too.” – Unknown
- “I’m not a comedian, I’m a comedian-actor. There’s a difference. A comedian is someone who tells jokes, and a comedian-actor is someone who tells jokes and then acts like they’re not funny.” – Jim Carrey
On Funny People
- “I’m not funny. I’m just a guy who tells jokes.” – Unknown
- “I’m not a funny person, I’m just a person who’s funny sometimes.” – Unknown
- “I’m not a comedian, I’m a professional joke-teller. There’s a difference. A comedian is someone who tells jokes, and a professional joke-teller is someone who gets paid for it.” – Unknown
On Hilarity
- “Hilarity is the best way to describe a situation that’s so ridiculous it’s funny.” – Unknown
- “Hilarity is the best way to describe a situation that’s so absurd it’s funny.” – Unknown
- “I’m not sure what’s more hilarious, the situation or the fact that I’m laughing at it.” – Unknown
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I Win Cop
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Like An Idiot
Best Quotes Funny Hilarious sayings ” I just Stepped. Now I’m Officially Announced.”
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Age Before Never
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Drink Coffee So
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Be Pretty On The Inside
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Women Don’t Work Why?
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Elf On A Shelf
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First Time Want To Buy
Best funny quotes and funny sayings “How Really Weird You. Too Late.”
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I Look For My Phone
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Without My Phone
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No Room For You
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Everything You Love
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Happy Then Run Away
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I’ve just Finished What You….
Best Quotes Funny Hilarious ” OMG! It’s possible . I Don’t Care You everything And just move on.”
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Over Over Heads
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Start Now Don’t Fool me
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My Own Destiny
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Whatever I Made MySelf
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Being Nice To Stupid
Cool Quotes Funny Hilarious words “Drink water. The Drink Water. That’s all.”
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Anger Management to Neighbor Not Me
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Don No Problem Someone Low On Me
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Pushing A Pull Door, That’s Me
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To Trip Over
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Need Some Work Do It Alone Don’t Call me
