35 Funny Quotes With Pictures

Funny quotes with pictures “Out of my mind back in five minutes. and The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.

I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run – Funny Quotes Of The Day Photo credits Pinterest

Funny Quotes

“Out of my mind! Back in five minutes.”

1. “Out of my mind! Back in five minutes.”

“The biggest lie I tell myself is I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it.”

2. “The biggest lie I tell myself is I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

“I hope we're friends until we die 10 1 then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people.”

3. “I hope we’re friends until we die 10 1 then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people.”

“Sometimes when I say im okay, I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say I know you're not.”

4. “Sometimes when I say I’m okay, I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say I know you’re not.”

“I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.”

5. “I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.”

“Do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it's 5pm and you have achieved literally nothing?”

6. “Do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it’s 5 pm and you have achieved nothing?”

Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters.

“Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome not perfect.”

7. “Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.”

8. “Instead of cleaning house I just watch an episode of hoarders and think wow my house looks great!!”

8. “Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and think wow my house looks great!!”

9. “Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned not given.”

9. “Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned not given.”

10. “Teachers be like....... 1St day of october thru school april last day of school.”

10. “Teachers be like……. 1St day of October thru school April last day of school.”

11. “Sleaeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters.”

11. “Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them, I am vulnerable to monsters.”

“Every day I arrive at work with good intentions and a great attitude... Then idiots happen.”

12. “Every day I arrive at work with good intentions and a great attitude… Then idiots happen.”

Talk to yourself You have Your problem

13. “It's ok to talk to yourself, it's even ok to answer youself... But when you ask yourself to repeat what you just said, you have a problem!”

13. “It’s ok to talk to yourself, it’s even ok to answer yourself… But when you ask yourself to repeat what you just said, you have a problem!”

14. “The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.”

14. “The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.”

15. “Alright... Who pushed the fast forward button on my weekend?”

15. “Alright… Who pushed the fast-forward button on my weekend?”

16. “Alcohol does not make you fat it makes you lean... Against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.”

16. “Alcohol does not make you fat it makes you lean… Against tables, chairs, floors, walls, and ugly people.”

17. “Most of the time.... When you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time.... When you are hurt, nobody feels your pain. 마 most of the time.... When you are happy. Nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time.”

17. “Most of the time… When you’re crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time… When you are hurt, nobody feels your pain. 마 most of the time… When you are happy. Nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time.”

18. “I am who I am. I'm weird, I run into things, I spill food, I trip, I laugh o about random and stupid stuff. But I like it that way.”

18. “I am who I am. I’m weird, I run into things, I spill food, I trip, and I laugh o about random and stupid stuff. But I like it that way.”

Some of the best moments in life

19. “Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about.”

19. “Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.”

20. “Snaughling: laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.”

20. “Snaughling: laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.”

21. “I need to go on medication, so I can slap stupid people and blame it on the side effects.”

21. “I need to go on medication, so I can slap stupid people and blame it on the side effects.”

22. “I'm not a bitch I just have a very low bullshit tolerance level.”

22. “I’m not a bitch I just have a very low bullshit tolerance level.”

23. “If mama aint happy, ain't nobody happy... If grandma ain't happy... Run!”

23. “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy… If grandma ain’t happy… Run!”

24. “I'm off to club bed, featuring dj pillow and mc blanky.”

24. “I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ pillow and mc blanky.”

25. “The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run!”

25. “The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run!”

Funny Quotes and Sayings

“Just keep being true to yourself, if you’re passionate about something go for it.”

  • “Pandora opened the box with the new high-heels, put them on, and went out to town.”
  • “Even in hard times, there’s a possibility to have fun.”
  • “Live for today and let tomorrow come later.”
  • “Even though you’re growing up, you should never stop having fun. – Nina Dobrev.”
  • “There’s no fear when you’re having fun. – Will Thomas.”
  • “I am going to keep having fun every day I have left because there is no other way of life.”
  • “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
  • “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
  • “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”
  • “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”
  • “If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.”
  • “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. ― Mark Twain”
  • “Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator. ― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish”
  • “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. ― Billy Sunday”

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named “Bush”, “Dick”, and “Colin.” Need I say more? ― Chris Rock’s”

Dailyfunnyquote-on-facebook

Leave a Reply