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Top 37 Hilarious Minions Quotes – Life Quotes & Humor

Hilarious Minions QuotesLife Quotes & Humor “Moving on is a difficult decision one has to make a few times in life. You can try to hold on to people who have walked away from you, or you can choose to create a dignified life for yourself. You can carry your mistakes with you, or you can choose to learn new things to better yourself. Eventually, moving on has nothing to do with people or what happened in the past. It has everything to do with how you rebuild your life from this moment on.

Funny minions quotes “Making you happy makes me happy. Don’t give up on love, because there is always someone who loves you. Even if it’s not the person you were hoping for.

#1. Raise your hand in people never spell your name correctly.”

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#2. It’s strange how you can go from being so close to someone then never talking to them again.”

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#3. Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s natures way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.”

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#4. I love how coffee fixes everything. Tired? drink some coffee, headache? drink coffee, cold? drink coffee, someone makes you angry? bust them in the head with the cup!”

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#5. Remember: Just because you went to college doesn’t make you smarter than anyone else… Common sense doesn’t come with a degree.”

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#6. Young at heart, slightly older in other places.”

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#7. The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.”

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#8. Tomorrow’s monday?? again?? i don’t think i can do this every week!”

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#9. Forget about the zombie apocalypse that will never come… Worry about the idiot apocalypse that’s already upon us.”

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#10. I have A.D.D attract dumbasses disorder.”

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#11. I wish my bank account filled up as fast as my laundry basket.”

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Hilarious Minions Quotes

#12. To my friend, I can’t promise to solve all your problems, but I can promise you won’t have to face them alone.”

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#13. Forget sexy! is anyone working on bringing back intelligence and common sense?”

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#14. If you don’t swear while driving then you are not paying attention to the road at all.”

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#15. That annoying moment when you can’t find the long side of your blanket.”

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#16. Minions Hilarious Quotes I don’t normally cook… Does anybody know how much vodka you add to mashed potatoes?”

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#17. There’s no better feeling than going to bed at night and not having to set an alarm for tomorrow.”

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#18. I’m going into the woods to scream for a while, anybody wanna come with?”

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#19. The most expensive thing in the world is trust. It can take years to earn and just a matter of seconds to lose.”

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#20. A person who always disturbs you is the person who always loves you.”

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#21. Alright… Who pushed the fast forward button on my weekend?”

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#22. Sometimes life bites you in the ass. But thankfully I have enough padding there to take the hit.”

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#23. Hilarious Quotes Minions “The secret to a clean kitchen is simple, don’t cook, ever.”

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#24. When someone says don’t look”, I get this sudden urge to look.”

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#25. Speaking my mind is easy. Speaking it tactfully, not so much…”

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#26. That annoying moment when the tv commercials are so long that you forget what you were watching.”

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#27. There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.”

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#28. Don’t ever piss off a short girl. They are like cute, adorable, tiny. Ninjas of death, who are at the perfect height to punch you in the balls. Short girls are badass.”

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#29. I don’t always talk on the phone, but when i do, i walk everywhere in my house.”

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#30. Someone just called me normal… I have never been so insulted in my entire life…”

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#31. I didn’t #change”… I just realized some sh*t.”

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#32. I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say: #hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot.”

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#33. That mini heart attack when you miss a step on the stairs.”

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#34. Just remember karma has no deadline.”

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#35. It’s Friday!!! Sorry… Just practicing for tomorrow,”

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#36. * 3 am phone call* #hey are you asleep?” #no, I’m skydiving..”

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#37. Admit it you pushed a door that says pull.”

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