80 Hilariously Funny Jokes to Make Your Family Laugh

Laughter spreads quickly. It makes us feel better, lifts our spirits, and brings us closer to the people we share it with. So why wouldn’t we take advantage of every chance we get to laugh? So, we put together this list of (clean) jokes for kids and adults that will make the whole family laugh.

But there’s more. In addition to the 80 jokes below, we have jokes about dads, kids, moms, and holidays that you can share with the youngest person in the room.

Prepare: Some of what’s coming up is kind of funny. Some of them might even make you roll your eyes. But, if we’re being honest, who doesn’t laugh at corny jokes deep down? Others might make you laugh so hard you cry, so don’t say we didn’t warn you. Many are one-liners, which makes them easy to remember and share again and again. Your kids can also tell their friends about them, maybe even years later. Now, get ready to make some fun memories with these 80 Hilariously Funny Jokes that will make you laugh out loud.

  • What do newborn kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
  • What washes up on very small beaches? Micro-waves.
  • What do you call malware on a Kindle? A bookworm.
  • What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They’re both purple except for the rabbit.
  • Why are hairdressers never late for work? Because they know all the short cuts!
  • What do you call a space magician? A flying saucerer.

Hilariously Funny Jokes to Make Your Family Laugh

  • Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
  • Which bus never drove on any street? The globus.
  • Why couldn’t Captain America find Thor’s brother? He was Low-key!
  • Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall.
  • What does a house wear? Address!
  • What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
  • Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
  • What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy? A Mars bar.
  • What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before? Déjà brew.
  • How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.
  • How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
  • How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.
  • How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.
  • Where do you learn to make banana splits? At sundae school.
  • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  • What is the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”

Hilariously Funny Jokes to Make Your Family Laugh 1

  • What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Re-Morse code.
  • Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  • What kind of chicken is the funniest? A comedi-hen!
  • Why did the school kids eat their homework? Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.
  • I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
  • How do ice hockey players stay cool? They sit next to the fans!
  • Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts.
  • What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
  • What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.
  • What does a baby computer call its father? Data!
  • How do you make a water bed bouncier? Add spring water.
  • Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrgh!
  • What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
  • How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Poke him on.
  • Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat.
  • How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
  • Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition? Because it was cultured.
  • What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
  • What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
  • Where does a spy go to the toilet? A gents!
  • Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? 10,soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.

Hilariously Funny Jokes to Make Your Family Laugh 2

  • What did the pirate say when he turned Aye matey.
  • What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
  • What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.
  • Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.
  • How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.
  • How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.
  • What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks.
  • Why can’t male ants sink? They’re buoy-ant.
  • Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
  • Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
  • The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  • What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid!
  • Why did the painting go to jail? It was framed.
  • What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
  • Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!
  • Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.
  • What’s the stinkiest planet? Poopiter.
  • What fruit do twins love? Pears!
  • Which state is the smartest? Alabama—it has four As and one B!
  • Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?
  • When do computers overheat? When they need to vent.
  • What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the doc already.
  • What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell!
  • Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
  • What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
  • Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was de-Brie everywhere.
  • What did the man get when he ran into a palm tree? A facepalm.
  • Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
  • What type of flower should you not give on Valentine’s Day? Cauli-flower.
  • What cookie flavor do monkeys love? Chocolate Chimp!
  • Why is it impossible to starve in the desert? Because of all the sand which is there!
  • What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Ca-shew!

Jokes to Keep You Laughing All Year.

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