Willing to take the risk? Here are 60 of the best sarcastic quotes and sayings.
Funny sarcastic quotes: Are you looking for the best sarcastic quotes? If you want to know why sarcasm has now become a meaningful way to express one’s feelings, Look no further! Here are 38 funny sarcasm quotes and sayings to make you laugh. Best Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I’m an amazingly beautiful soul. Another person will say I’m a cold-hearted asshole – believe them both, I act accordingly. My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
Here is a list of ironic quotations about life that will place it in a funny light. To read through them, will be a treat for sarcasm fans who enjoy its sting and wit.
- “The best things in the world are free – and worth every penny of it.” – Murphy’s Laws
- “The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.” – Murphy’s Laws
- “Virginity can be cured.” – Murphy’s Laws
- “Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.” – Murphy’s Laws
- “The bigger your family, the bigger your problems.” – Anonymous.*
- “If you want to call a family meeting – turn off the WiFi and sit in the room where it is located.” – Anonymous.
- “Knowing your family so well that you can make out who’s coming by the sound of their footsteps.” – Anonymous.
- “In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.” – Erma Bombeck.
- “Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.” – Rodney Dangerfield.
- “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same things, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” – William James.
Best Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings
#1. Keep your head high, and your middle finger higher.”
#2. People will notice the change in your attitude towards them, but won’t notice their behavior that made you change.”
#3. Bixch, I wanna slap you, but I don’t know in which face.”
#4. To the people who lose one shoe on the side of the highway: Please tell me what the rest of your life is like.”
#5. One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.”
#6. Apology accepted, trust denied.”
#7. #I know everything happens for a reason. But sometimes I wish I knew what that reason was.”
#8. I’m technically single but my heart is taken by someone I can’t call my own.”
#9. Bixch, please move away from the sunlight, I hate the smell of burning plastic.”
#10. I don’t understand your specific kind of crazy but I do admire your total commitment to it.”
“A half-truth is a whole lie.“- Yiddish Proverb
“Nobody cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” – Cynthia Nelms
“What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.” – Mark Twain
“An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.” – Robert Oppenheimer
#11. Cheating is the most disgusting, hurtful, & disrespectful thing you could do to someone you say you love.”
#12. No regrets in life. Just lessons learned.”
#13. No response is a response. And it’s a powerful one. Remember that.”
Funny Sarcastic Quotes
#14. One morning she woke up different. Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick aside. She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace. She realized that opinions were a dime a dozen, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn’t a word but a lifestyle.it was on this day that her life changed. And not because of a man or a job but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.”
Also Read: Top 30 Funniest Memes of All Time
“Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.” – Murphy’s Laws
“Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.” – Murphy’s Laws
“Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love.” – Benjamin Disraeli
“It’s a match made in heaven…by a retarded angel.” – Woody Allen
#15. I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.”
#16. I’m allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.”
#17. #When people treat you like they don’t care, believe them.”
#18. Sometimes I have to tell myself it’s just not worth the jail time.”
#19. This is what you don’t do. Don’t let this world make you bitter. Don’t let the actions of other people turn you cold on the inside. Certain things happen that hurt us, people come that leave us, and most of all there are moments when you’re bound to fall. Don’t let those things make you unkind. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad. But it’s never okay to do other people wrong just because you were done wrong. We’re human. We break. We make mistakes. But don’t let pain and sadness run your lives. Wake up in the morning and do what you think is right. There are moments in your life where you feel like giving up and you can’t take it anymore. It’s okay. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. I know you’re weak. But the things that show your weak side are also the same ones that make you stronger in the long run. It’s all about taking whatever life throws at you and learning from it.”
#20. Sorry is not enough. Sometimes you have to change.”
#21. There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will. And in the end, you learn who is fake, who is true, and who would risk it all for you.”
#22. Apologies don’t mean anything if you keep doing what you’re sorry for.”
#23. I will remember and recover, not forgive and forget.”
#24. Congratulations! You’ve managed to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit again. Would you like an award for that!.”
#25. You are either on my side, by my side, or in my fucking way choose wisely.”
#26. You don’t just stop loving someone. You either always will, or you never did in the first place.”
#27. There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough.”
#28. The deepest of a woman’s insecurities often come from the men who have hurt them.”
#29. Don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance, and my kindness for weakness.”
#30. We are all a little broken. But the last time I checked, broken crayons still color the same.”
#31. If you show me you don’t give a fuck, I’ll show you that I’m better at it.”
#32. Somedays I believe that my horoscope is going to say: #Just don’t fucking kill anyone today”.”
#33. You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened; or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”
#34. One of the hardest life lessons is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss, or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.”
#35. Sometimes it’s not the people who change, it’s the mask that falls off.”
#36. If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape.”
#37. Life has taught me that you can’t control someone’s loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn’t mean they’ll treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn’t mean they’ll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least.”
#38. When something goes wrong in your life, just yell, #plot twist!” and move on.”
Superbly Sarcastic Sayings
“I am not young enough to know everything. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” – Abba Eban
“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.” – Albert Einstein
“Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” – (Sign in Albert Einstein’s Office)
“To form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.” – Albert Einstein
“Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.” – Albert Einstein
Funny Sayings, Here are some funny and utterly sarcastic quotes.
“What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera ” – Aldous Huxley
“Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.” – Robin Williams
“God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” – Robin Williams
“Politics: ‘Poli’ a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures.” – Robin Williams
“Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” – Robin Williams
“He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.” – Victor Borge
Sarcastic Sayings About Love. How could love escape the grasp of sarcasm? Here are some sarcastic remarks on love and its nature.
“All the good ones are taken.” – Murphy’s Laws
“If the person isn’t taken, there’s a reason.” – Murphy’s Laws
Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes About Life
Here are some sarcastic quotes which are good food for thought.
Murphy’s Laws are a universal set of sarcastic quotes about life, born out of collective wisdom!
“If anything can go wrong, it will.” – Murphy’s Laws
“Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.” – Murphy’s Laws
“Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.” – Murphy’s Laws
“If everything seems to be going well, you have overlooked something.”
“People that pay for things never complain. It’s the guy you give something to that you can’t please.” – Will Rogers
“The more that learn to read, the less learn how to make a living. That’s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.” – Will Rogers
Sarcasm has a way of bringing forth the truth of life in a funny manner. Sarcasm is satire used as a tool. It helps you understand harsh truths while making you laugh. Hope these quotations have revived your admiration for sarcasm. Laugh lots and don’t take it too seriously; for it’s a joke upon us and we may as well enjoy it. Sarcastic words about life can touch your spirit. Sarcasm is a wry mood. If you love sarcasm and appreciate this exceptionally biting mood, then these sarcastic words are a must-read! Sarcasm is a wry mood. If you’re a lover of sarcasm and like this exceptionally biting mood, these sarcastic words are a must-read!
Final Thoughts on Funny Sarcastic Quotes
They often want an appreciative audience or boost their self-esteem while telling jokes as a way of overcoming boredom or enlivening boredom. Sometimes, sarcasm is used as a technique to describe sugarcoating, in which a sentiment is conveyed with the intent of cutting others down to size. People like people of good taste, but everyone will benefit from a bit of wise and poignant advice. People love amusing themselves with witticisms and hence tend to influence others. We see a lot of the underlying humor of how complex life can be in contrast to how simple the jokes make things in life seem. Mottos can be the best: assumptions that they are like dogs, always ready to start a fight, and rarely wimpy.
Research reveals that both varieties of sarcasm, as well as one of wit, benefit from increased creativity. People like to make wisecracks and sarcastic jokes to relieve bitterness, no matter what they’re directed at. Serious quotations are true but are used as sarcasm to make it look as though they’re all in fun. It takes your mind off your tension and makes your face more attractive. It not only allows you to identify the location where the quote was taken, but it also allows you to interact with and explore the topics that surround the selected quoter.
Waving a gun-wielding sarcasm can be more effective when used with attention and control. The life of the mind can be expanded. A language is a means of communication. I want to use sarcasm. It’s like beating people over the head with the hammer of reason. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t really matter whether I go or stay. I’m sorry for the way I called you, and I’m sorry for the impact I’ve had on your feelings. The addition of murder on TV would make people get over their petty prejudices. The largest expanses of feeling and perception are determined by the state of our belly or ventricles and the flow of our blood. Wishing on a rat still does you no good, so it’s only fair that you lose isn’t going to make you a horse.
Don’t form an opinion about a book from the cover. Television teaches me a lot of things, really. Whenever someone is watching a TV show or listening to the radio, I go to another room to read a book. If all things are going well, you have no room to expand, so you have no room to complain. One way to avoid conflict is to feed a crocodile is to allow it to eat from the hand of another. Statistically, though, the odds of meeting someone on a personal scale (36.18%) in Barbie are one in a thousand. With Ken’s one in a hundred likelihood ratio, there is a chance to find someone who suits his bill.
Sarcasm is an enigmatic type of humor that takes an acquired palate to enjoy. If you are a fan of Chandler Bing from the famous movie, ‘Friends’, you know what I am trying to suggest. That man just keeps coming up with ironic lines all the time. Sarcasm is veiled satire and irony which can also pass as a straight argument if not interpreted carefully. If you are anyone like ‘Joey’ (from the same series ‘Friends’), you would have a difficult time detecting it. That’s the essence of sarcasm. It brings the idea of double meaning‘ to a whole new dimension. Dr. Gregory House from House MD is another character who keeps dishing out fantastic sarcasm.