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Funny Quotes

Top 370+ Funny Quotes With Pictures & Sayings

“31. Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.”

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“32. Papercut: A tree’s final moment of revenge.”

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“33. At night, I can’t fall asleep. In the morning, I can’t get up.”

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“34. As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement. ”

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“35. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot.”

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“36. Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.”

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“37. When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it’s already 6:45. When you’re at work and it’s 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it’s 2:31.”

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“38. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.”

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“39. Don’t make me laugh, I’m trying to be mad at you.”

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“40. That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like “I’ve got nothing man.”

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