Collection of Short Funny One-Liner Jokes. Our funny one-liner puns are short, sweet quotes about funny, and make you laugh. Steal these classic one-liner jokes Yes, you too can laugh like a crazed hyena! Don’t believe us? Try going through these amazing short funny memes and cute one liner jokes we’ve carefully collected. Try the best funny quotes.
Short Funny One Liner Jokes
1. You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy and the tallest guy in the National Basketball Association is Chinese.
Funny One Liners by Chris Rock
2. A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
Funny One-Liners by Tim Allen
3. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.
Funny One Liners by Zsa Zsa Gabor
4. I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Funny One Liners by Henny Youngman
Funny One Liners By Rodney Dangerfield
5. I know what day of the week you were born. I was so poor growing up. If I wasn’t born a boy, I’d have nothing to play with.
Funny One Liners by Rodney Dangerfield
6. A girl phoned me the other day and said Come on over, there’s nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
Funny One Liners by Rodney Dangerfield
7. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
8. One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, Hey buddy, why are you doing that? He said, Because you came home early.
Funny One Liners by Rodney Dangerfield
9. It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.
Funny One Liners by Rodney Dangerfield
Funny Lines – Short Funny One Liner Jokes
10. You can take my breath away!!! stay away from me I don’t want do die Now.
11. U made me smile so wide……..I can eat a banana sideways.
12. Don’t hate me because I m good, Hate me because I know it!!
13. The Moment She Arrives Every Other Face Fades Away…
14. Flirt but be alert.
15. Intel inside……….fool is outside.
16. Ashes 2 Ashes Dust 2 Dust Life is short so PARTY v must.
17. Love all; hate none…see all; select one.
18. He Took Me Fr0m a Bar. He Took Me In His Car. He Took My T0p 0ff. He Puts His Lips 0n Mine, But D0n’t W0rry I’m a Bottle 0f Wine.
19. Adam & Eve introduced love; Romeo & Juliet practiced it; Laila & Majnoo died for it; So PLZZZZZZZ guys don’t go for it.
20. LOVE IS THE MISUNDERSTANDING BETWEEN TWO FOOLS!
21. Loved by FEW Hated by MANY Feared by ALL.
22. I can’t help falling in love with u….
23. Love can sometimes be magic… But magic can sometimes just be an illusion!!
24. Everyone says you only fall in love once but that’s not true, every time I hear your voice I fall in love all over again.
25. Do u believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk past u again?
26. I removed L from LOVER…….n now its all OVER !!!
27. DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME UNLESS U REALLY MEAN IT, CUZ I MIGHT DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE BELIEVE IT
28. Everyday That Goes By It Seems Like I Discover Somethíng New about You To Love It’s Incredíble To Me How I’m Loved by Some, Hated by Many, Envied by Most, Yet wanted by plenty.
29. Only little boys who call themselves men say I love you and don’t mean it.
Statistical One-Liners
30. A new government 10-year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.
31. According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority.
32. Did you know that 87.166253% of all statistics claim a precision of results that is not justified by the method employed?
Short Funny One Liner Jokes – Funny words
33. What green and runs around your garden?
A hedge
34. Two overweight regulars are sitting in the pub.
‘Your round’ said one, to which the other replied,
‘You can talk you fat cu*t!’
35. Stevie Wonder was having an interview and the interviewer asked about what it was like to be blind. He answered:
“it’s not that bad, I mean, it could be worse, I could be black!”
36. Why have you called your pet newt tiny?
Because he’s my newt.
Best Funny One Liner Jokes – cuteness pick up lines
37. A bloke goes home to his wife and says, ‘I’ve won the lottery, pack your bags.’ She replies, ‘What for, winter or summer?’ ‘Anything you like,’ he says, ‘now sod off.’
38. My last holiday was terrible, I flew with BA.
He just kept shouting, You crazy fool, I ain’t getting on no plane!
39. My friend swallowed an extractor fan, he’s OK now but it took it out of him.
40. I broke my neck once, but to be fair I haven’t looked back since
41. What’s green and smells like yellow paint?
Green Paint!
Short Funny One Liner Jokes – cheesy pick up lines
What kind of key do you need to get into the jungle?
A monKEY.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Neck-tartines.
Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin.
I spilt spot remover on my dog… now he’s gone.
Why do elephants have four feet?
They would look daft with just 6 inches.
Short Funny One Liner Jokes – corniest pick up lines
A plumber divorcing his wife turns around and said it’s all overflow.
What do people in Yorkshire call eBay?
Ebaygum
During my driving lesson, I asked my instructor, ‘Do I go left, right or straight across the roundabout?’ He replied, ‘No, you go around it.’
A Dyslexic man walks into a bra…
What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They both have the same middle name.
corny pick up lines – Short Funny One Liner Jokes 2
I used to work with a bald-headed geezer who had tattoos of Rabbits all over his head. From a distance, they look like hares.
My mate has just opened a delicatessen in Jerusalem. He’s called it Cheeses of Nazareth.
My husband joined the local mechanic’s course. They sent him home because he wasn’t in the right gear.
What’s ET short for?
Coz he’s only got little legs….boom boom
Short Funny One Liner Jokes – tinder pick up lines
A brain went into a pub and said, “Can I have a pint of lager please?” “No way” says the barman “you are already out of your head”.
What’s the difference between a man and a dog?
A man wears a suit, a dog just pants.
Did you hear about the prawn that went to a nightclub – he pulled a mussel.
A man walks into a surgery “doctor” he cries “I think I’m shrinking” “I’m sorry, sir there are no appointments at the moment” says the physician “you will just have to be a little patient”
Who doesn’t love a good punny one liners or jokes? These cheeky, fun jokes and puns will give you all the giggles. Browse them all here.
