Top 35 Funny Minions Quotes of the Week

Funny Minions Quotes of the Week. We hope you will love them, make sure to share these excellent quotes with your minion lover friends .. Best 35 Very Funny minions Quotes

Looking for the best funny minion quotes ever! Everyone loves minions and these hilarious minion quotes will put a smile on your face! Minion Jokes, Funny Minion, Minions Quotes, Minions Love, Minion Sayings, Cute Cartoon, Funny Cartoon Quotes, Funny Cartoons, Funny Memes

1. “Yeah I’ve got O.C.D old, cranky and dangerous.”

2. “Three stages of life young and stupid motivated and hopeful hates everything and everyone”

3. “To be rich is not what you have in your bank account, but what you have in your heart.”

4. “I hate mosquitoes. I mean I know I’m delicious but damn!”

5. “Me? Mature??! Ha! I still laugh when the ketchup bottle “Farts”!”

6. “At night I can’t sleep. In the morning I can’t wake up..”

7. “I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normally from time to time.”

8. “Can’t find your children? Try turning off the Wifi. They appear suddenly.”

9. “Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking, “I’m gonna kill-ahh damn! She’s under a blanket…”” 10. “When I first started my job: What needs to be done? What else I can do to help? Me now: fire me, I fucking dare you”

11. “To do list – 1 – Go to pet store. 2 – Buy bird seeds. 3 – Ask how long it will take for the bird to grow. 4 – Wait for the reaction.”

12. “Guy walks out of the restroom…. Girl says: “Sir your garage door is open….. Guy asks: “Did you see my Harley”…. Girl says: “No, I saw a mini bike with two flat tires””

13. “Best school memory counting students in each row to see which paragraph I’ll have to read”

14. “January: Born the funniest February: Born the craziest March: Born the cutest April: Born the sweetest May: Born the kindest June: Born the most serious July: Born the most beautiful August: Born the sexiest September: Born the most romantic October: Born the perfectionists November: Born the nicest December: Born the perfect lovers which month are you?”

15. “I’m an odd combination of “Really sweet” and “Don’t mess with me””

16. “To all those people that make me laugh and smile: I couldn’t live without you.”

17. “I wish I lived in a world where mosquitoes would suck fat instead of blood.”

18. “Friends: Can I come over? Real friends: I’m coming over. Best friends just appear in your room randomly.”

19. “Eat whatever you want, and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.”

20. “My teacher pointed me with his ruler and said: “At the end of this ruler there’s an idiot!” I got detention after asking which end.”

21. “No matter how good or bad your life is, wake up each morning and be thankful that you still have one.”

22. “I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient I will get to you shortly.”

23. “10 things I know about you: 1) You are reading this 2) You are human 3) You can’t say the letter “P” without separating your lips 4) You just tried to do it 6) You are laughing at yourself 7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5 8) You just checked to see if there is a number 5 9) You laugh at this because you are an idiot (but everyone else does it too, if that makes you feel any better) 10) You are going to repin this to see who else falls for it”

24. “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge???”

25. “I finally realized it that people are prisoners of their phones that’s why it’s called cell phones.”

26. “If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square”

27. “I hate when I forget to press send and I’m sitting there like an idiot waiting for a reply.”

28. “Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you they get upset! Who knew?”

29. “Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “push”.”

30. “Who else does this? 1. Wets toothbrush. 2. Puts toothpaste on. 3. Wets toothbrush again. 4. Starts brushing teeth.”

31. “I’m proud of my heart it’s been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken but somehow still works.”

32. “Saying, “I’m almost there” when you actually haven’t even left the house.”

33. “Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You are one of them…..”

34. “A good mood is like a balloon… one little prick is all it takes to ruin it!”

35. “Don’t mind me, I’m just returning your nose. I found it in my business again.”

36. “Telling a woman to calm down works as well as trying to baptize a cat.”

37. “I Always say “Morning” instead of “Good morning” because if it were a good morning I’d still be in bed asleep”

38. “If one door opens and another one closes, your f*cking house is haunted!”

39. “Teach your daughter the 7 B’S, books before boys, because boys bring babies.”

40. “Need a friend? Text me. Need a laugh? Call me. Need money? This number is no longer in service.”

 

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