Funny Blonde Jokes – Dose of Really Funny Jokes. Whether you need cheesy pick up lines or corny pick-up lines, From one-liners to corny comedy, this hilarious selection of the best dad jokes will have every father chuckling. They’re so bad, they’re good. Trick Questions: Funny, Hard and the Best. Check out these riddles, brain teasers and stumpers. When your first answer is most always wrong, you will have to dig. We’ve rounded up a list of our favorite cheesy, bad pick-up lines that are so unabashedly awful that you’re almost guaranteed to get a smile.
Short Funny Blonde Jokes
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: You pick it up pull the pin & throw it back.
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What’s the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q: Why don’t blonds play Frisbee?
A: It hurts their teeth.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
Q: Why don’t blondes eat bananas?
A: They can’t find the zipper.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the fish?
A: She tried to drown it.
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.
Ladies Night Out
Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third
friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the $50 bill. I’m worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again. My relief was short-lived.
Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me!!! Now everyone’s attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do????
The woman in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks, and went home.
The Touching Speech – Funny Blonde Jokes Dose of Really Funny Jokes
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off.
Otherwise, they were all going to fall.
They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands…
The School Report
Son: “Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don’t know what Politics is.”
Father: “Well, let’s take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we’ll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let’s call you The People. We’ll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?”
Son: “I’m not really sure, Dad. I’ll have to think about it.”
That night awakened by his brother’s crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents’ room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid’s room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy’s knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.
The next morning he reported to his father.
Son: “Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is.”
Father: “Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?”
Son: “Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of $hit.”
Short Rude Jokes Funny messages – Funny Blonde Jokes
What do Tony Blair and Peter String fellow have in common?
They both love bush.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs, playing the piano?
What’s pink and hard first thing in the morning?
The Financial Times Crossword.
News flash just in… A man flashed at three old ladies sitting on a bench on Clapham common… two had a stroke but the other couldn’t reach.
What is the difference between burnt toast and a pregnant woman?
Nothing. In both cases it was taken out too late.
What’s pink and hard?
A pig with a flick knife.
When is a pixie not pixie?
When she has her head down an elf?s pants……then she’s a goblin
What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs smoking?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
What’s George Michael got in common with a pair of wellies?
Both get sucked off in bogs.
Funny Q & A – Best BLONDE JOKES images
Q Is that a new haircut?
a) No, there’s a dial on my back that makes it longer or shorter
b) It’s my new merkin, did they fit it incorrectly?
c) Actually, it’s my sister’s but I liked it so much I stole it from her.
Q You’re so nice, why aren’t you married?
a) Because the only people I know are fools like you.
b) I’m opposed to dental hygiene for religious purposes; that makes it hard to find a girl.
c) Actually I’m not single, my girlfriend just doesn’t know who I am yet.
d) What, and give up the joy of constantly asking women for a date?
Q That looks interesting. Is that your lunch?
a) No, it’s leftover breakfast.
b) Yes, and I made extra for you, seeing you ask me on a daily basis what I eat.
c) It was, but I have an inability to eat any food if someone asks what it is.
d) It is a science experiment. Please step away. You’re infecting my laboratory with your presence.
Q Where did you get that accent?
a) There was a buy one, get one free special at the supermarket.
b) From my mother’s womb.
c) I think it was from Accents for Dummies.
d) Melbourne, Florida.