Short & funny inspirational quotes to laugh about life. Is there such a thing as funny motivational quotes? View our collection of the 65 best short and funny motivational quotes to inspire you. “believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to success.”
Funny positive attitude quotes “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat forever.” Uplifting quotes? “dance like there’s nobody watching, love as you’ll never be hurt, Sing like there’s nobody listening, And live like its heaven on earth.” best life quotes about positivity to get through anything!
Best famous quotes by famous people (alive and dead) are there such a thing as funny motivational quotes? Of course! View our collection of the 65 best short and funny motivational quotes to laugh about. All that we are is the result of what we have thought
Funny Inspirational Quotes
A good quote to live by? Funny inspirational quotes about life and happiness – sometimes life can be hard, and there can be moments when things may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try and stay positive.
1. “Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.”
2. “How you treat others, is how you really feel inside.”
3. “If she doesn’t scare the hell out of you a little, she isn’t the one.”
4. “Only those who care about you can hear you when you’re quiet.”
5. “I hate it when people ask me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. I breathed a lot. Probably got mad at something… Sighed heavily. The list goes on.”
6. “When you’re happy you enjoy the music. When you’re sad you understand the lyrics.”
7. “In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.”
8. “When life shuts a door … open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.”
9. “Don’t trip over what is behind you”
10. “Cupcakes are muffins that believed in miracles”
11. “The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.”
12. “Mirrors don’t lie and lucky for you they don’t laugh”
13. “Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”
14. “Friends fight for you. Respect you. Include you. Encourage you. Need you. Delight you. Stand by you.”
15. “Do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on.”
16. “Sometimes I think I’m too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop”
17. “I have a ton of excitement in my life. I used to call it stress, but I feel much better now that I call it excitement.”
18. “Literally every person is messed up so pick your favourite train wreck and roll with it”
19. “Being a good person does not mean you have to put up with other people’s crap.”
20. “Seriously? You were the sperm that won?”
21. “Kindness is so gangster”
22. “Thou shall not try me.”
23. “People inspire you. Or they drain you ¬ pick them wisely.”
24. “You know you are an adult when you get excited to just go home.”
25. “Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.”
26. “My body is a temple, ancient, crumbling, probably cursed, filled with unspeakable horror”
27. “So the cops came to my house today and said your dog was chasing someone on a bike I said “My dog doesn’t have a bike!”
28. “A wise man once said nothing”
29. “Two things to remember in life: “Take care of your thoughts when you are alone”, and “Take care of your words when you are with people.””
30. “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.”
31. “I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got lost on the way back, now I have no idea what’s going on.”
32. “Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am, and my attitude depends on who you are.”
33. “If you don’t like where you are, move. You are not a tree.”
34. “Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.”
35. “I’m not saying that I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.”
36. “It’s never too late to get your shit together.”
37. “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.”
38. “I can just tell today is going to be one of those “Does not play well with others” kind of day.”
39. “I refuse to entertain negativity. Life is too big and time is too short to get caught up in empty drama.”
40. “I almost gave a fuck scared the shit out myself..”
41. “When someone says you can’t do it. Do it twice, and take pictures.”
42. “Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.”
43. “Everyone is gifted. But most people never open their package.”
44. “My mind is like my internet browser 19 tabs open 3 of them are frozen & I have no idea where the music is coming from”
45. “I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.”
46. “You will never always be motivated, so you must learn to be disciplined.”
47. “A waffle is just a more considerate pancake. It’s like here, let me hold that syrup for you, in these convenient boxes.”
48. “Remember, if you can’t say anything nice… Make it funny”
49. “No response is a response. And it’s powerful one. Remember that.”
50. “Funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems like it’s impossible but 8 beers and 6 shots in 3 hours go down like a fat kid on a see-saw…”
51. “When someone says “Expect the unexpected” slap them and say “You didn’t expect that, did you?””
52. “Breaking news: The pity train has just derailed at the intersection of suck it up & move on, and crashed into we all have problems, before coming to a complete stop at get the heck over it. Any complaints about how we operate can be forwarded to 1-800=WAA-WAAA this is Dr. Sniffle reporting form quitchur fussin’.”
53. “if you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes.”
54. “There’s nothing scarier than that split second when you lose your balance in the shower & you think “They are going to find me naked.””
55. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”
56. “The first five days after the weekend are the hardest….”
57. “Happiness is… Not having to set the alarm for the next day.”
58. “My kids call it “Yelling” when I raise my voice. I call it motivational speaking for the selective listener.”
59. “You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid, who acts just like you.”
60. “Let’s face it – some people drain the nice right out of you.”
61. “A ship is always safe a shore but that is not what it’s built for.”
62. “Being a good person does not mean you have to put up with other people’s crap.”
63. “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness”
64. “One thing I have learned is to be careful how you treat others. Nobody is too sexy for karma.”
65. “Never blame anyone in your life. Good people give you happiness. Bad people give you experience. Worst people give you a lesson. And best people give you memories.”
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