“31. Husbands are the best people to share secrets with. They’ll never tell anyone, because they aren’t even listening.”
“32. I just checked my account balance at the atm. It printed me a coupon for ramen noodles.”
“33. Exercise?! I thought you said extra fries!.”
“34. Soft demon, warm demon, little ball of hate.”
“35. I didn’t say I would be nice, I said I would try… it was too hard!.”
“36. Every woman’s dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed… and clean the whole house while she sleeps. “
“37. I officially resign from adulthood. Decisions will be made using the eenie-meeni-minie-meo method and arguements will be settled by sticking out my tongue.”
“38. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: 1) Morning people 2) People who want to shoot morning people.”
“39. The most expensive thing in the world is trust. It can take years to earn and a matter of seconds to lose.”
“40. Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons… They forgot to mention morons!.”
